Having Expectations Is Probably Ruining Your Life
Quite naturally, when we form relationships with people, whether it is an acquaintance or someone you plan to marry, we will have a complete list of things they need to do in order to keep us happy. Of course this is all worked out in our subconscious, but it has a fairly great impact on the part of our lives that we are aware of. We even have a set list of expectations for strangers. Yes, strangers. I know what you’re thinking. What could you possibly expect from someone you never met? Oh I don’t know…respect, common courtesy, manners, and we even expect people to have morals. Can you believe that? If we expect these things from people we don’t know, imagine what demands we have for the important people in our lives.
This is where things begin to get a little messy. When we have expectations, we are unintentionally handing people “the ball”. Almost immediately, the ball is dropped. Not only is that ball (inadvertently) dropped, but it then triggers emotions. You are angry, sad, disappointed, and many other things. And during this time you seem to forget that you did it to yourself. You had an expectation, one that was hidden, and you ran the risk of being let down when you assigned that task to someone other than yourself. You see, expectations damage relationships of all sorts. When we begin to expect more than the usual from people, we are let down every time. The worst part about it is that we are the mastermind and main organizer behind our let downs. Yeah, I know: Mind blowing.
How do you not expect things from people? Well, you can’t not have expectations. Expectations are the very things that help us realize our position in life. When they’re set low we can achieve things easier, and when they are set high, well, good luck. Whatever the case may be, we absolutely need to expect things from others and ourselves. I just contradicted myself? I know, but I’m not finished yet.
The key to successfully expecting things from people is to find a balance. Do not expect others to do for you what you can’t do for yourself. This is not only a reasonable approach but it spares feelings and saves time, as well. When others drop the ball, you have to be able to pick it up. If you have to pick it up too many times, you need to figure out why the hell you gave them the ball in the first place.