Il Posto Fisso, Dole Bludger Street

Quo Vado is an Italian movie about a man who wants nothing more from life than a public administration posto fisso, a job for life. See trailer, hilarious!

Quo Vado got me thinking about USA military personnel, Veteran Affairs (VA) disability, civil service, and triple dipping pensions for life.

People typically join the military because they are better at literally nothing else but taking orders. People good at taking orders are good fast food employees or even better, soldiers. The USA military provides technical education, how to shoot modern weapons and kill people along with support in moving boxes (logistics/transport), cooking and recreation, perfect jobs for highly uneducated soldiers.

After surving the front lines a few years and supervising a few soldiers, the supervisors develop smarts, military smarts so I’ll use smarts Kevin Bacon style here. Also, senior enlisted personnel start mentoring/grooming the smarter soldiers for more responsibility.

There are also educated military jobs like doctors, lawyers, and C4ISR personnel but those positions are usually reserved for officers i.e. any academically educated military person with a bachelor’s degree.

Every smart, military worker eventually turns into a lazy piece of dung, E7s and O5s stuck in their respective grades without hope of ever climbing further up the military hierarchy sit atop dung central. These military personnel, lowballing, makeup 90% of personnel in those grades. They milk and juice the system for all its worth. If one ever wants to learn how to get away with doing nothing then have a chat with one of these rich fortunate souls, treasure trove of dole bludger street!

After milking the military for all its worth, these same individuals go onto to civil service jobs where they are even less productive. If you've ever worked with civil service then no explanation needed.

Earning a life pension on Dole Bludger Street requires a paltry 20 years of voluntary service. Military personnel then get 50% of their highest 3 years linked to Consumer Price Index (CPI) inflation for life. The average enlisted retired rank is E7 and VA 50% disability rating. Before acquiring a civil service job, a retired E7 of 24 years with a 50% VA disability rating pulls down roughly $45k/year.

Why would anyone want/need to work while living off the $45k/year dole? Not having abortions, foregoing marriages, divorces instead of romantic lye baths, etc are all reasons retired military must continue working.

Fortunately, civil service hires almost exclusively (at least on military installations) retired military and/or military veterans. It’s a good ol boy network on LSD, job for life. 😎

Civil service workers typically do the same work as their military mirrors while getting paid substantially more. One of the many perks of transitioning directly from the military to civil service is they typically maintain the same rank i.e. E7 to GS10, O5 to GS12, etc. And nearly all civil service on military installations are military retirees and/or military veterans so keeps comradeship and inter-service banter healthy.

For every year over 20 years worked, military retirees get 2.5% tacked on to their guaranteed 50%. For example, an active duty E7 can work as much as 24 years. If Walter wisely decides to work his full 24 years then he’ll keep 60% of his retirement pay, currently $2835/month tied to CPI inflation for life.

One of my physical therapy buddies told me it’s impossible for a 10+ year military veteran to not qualify for at least 10-30% VA disability rating. After 20 years of service, that number jumped to an average 50% VA disability rating. The VA is also typically run by veterans helping veterans. There’s no such thing as integrity in VA disability rating evaluations. Source: word of mouth, the Veteran Affairs office wouldn’t ever admit the gifts (awards).

The VA percentage disability rating also doubles as the percentage of tax free income from Walter’s military pension. For example, when Walter retired with 24 years of service, he receives earning him $2835/month in 2016. Since Walter kept great medical records and was coached what to say during the VA disability rating interview, he scored a VA 50% disability rating, earning him another $836/month, tax free income.

With the 50% "gold watch" VA disability bonus, the IRS will tax only $17010/year of Walter’s $45k/year double dipping pension, substantially reducing the veteran’s tax burden. 🙆

You’ll more likely die of boredom before an extremist gets you sans Special Operation Forces (SOF) but SOF make up less than 10% of the workforce and only the best are invited to join. The likelihood of retiring as an E7 after 20 years of voluntary military service fully intact is 99.91%. If old fat Walter could handle the bullship that is typically of all normal jobs along with clashing personalities and Coolsville uniforms then your golden parachute awaits U2, il posto fisso!

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