Some B@d@$$ stories of Campus Placements

Campus placements season is beginning at almost all the colleges and every one wants to prepare to do the best.
Here is the compilation of some past placement interviews and their witti

1. This happened in IITG 2013.
 Scenario : One of candidate cleared four rounds of a company X and only HR round is remaining.
 HR asked various questions for 30mins and is still confused whether to recruit him or not. Then came the decider
 HR: What are you good at?
 Friend: I am very good at telling lies and that’s what I have been doing from half an hour.
 And Yes, he is recruited.

2. This one comes from IIT Madras campus placements few years ago.

A Consult company shortlisted students with high or more than average CGPA along with an exceptionally good extra-curricular record.

This one student, had a CGPA less than 7, which is considered quiet low. But, accompanied with other points on his resume, he was still shortlisted for the interview.

Apparently, he thulped the million case study interviews. But nonetheless he was finally asked THE question!

Interviewer: Why such a low CGPA ?

Student: Umm.. because, Lower the C.G. higher is the Stability!

Explanation: It was a satire he threw at the Interviewer as a humorous answer. In Physics, C.G. stands for Center of Gravity. It can be understood as the point on/in every object which can balance the whole object on a finger. By laws of Physics, lower in height is the C.G. of a body, more is its stability (or chances of not toppling). He tried to relate the not toppling effect with his life, where because of low CG he could have a more happening life. Indeed a perfect match of humor and confidence, you will say !

3. This happened with a friend during Flipkart interview at IIT Madras 2014.
 So after various questions, the interviewer tries to close the interview with this-
 interviewer: Why should we hire you?
 Friend: Sir, you see this shirt? It’s size 41. I ordered it on Flipkart. I wear 39. Returned it twice, got the same shirt back. So either change your system, or take me to change it! Because clearly it’s not working.
 Got the job!
 What a badass!

4. This happened on Day 1 of the 2015 IITB placements with my friend. Unlike most of the stories here, this is not a story where your showing smartness takes you further. Sometimes its just better to shut up and agree with the interviewer. 
 The company in question is known for being lazy in their placement process and not taking interviews very seriously, they take a single interview and ask technical or HR questions randomly as they please. After a lot of controversy over their shortlist, the interviews began. 
 After a few interviews, it is the turn of our guy. By this time the interviewers probably got bored of asking technical questions and decided to go a little of topic. So they began by asking him his hobbies.
 Interviewer#1— So what are your hobbies?
 Our Guy — I like cricket, sir. 
 Interviewer#1 — Okay so do you like watching it or playing it?
 Our Guy — Both, sir.
 Interviewer#2 — What do you enjoy more ?
 OG — Sir, I enjoy watching more.
 Interviewer#1 — What a waste of time. I hate cricket. Cricket is a useless game. I stopped following cricket 5 years ago. It is the worst way one could waste his time. 
 Interviewer#2 (Now talking among themselves) — I agree. Even I stopped following cricket 3 years ago. 
 OG (Now getting a little offended)- No sir, it is not like that. If you follow it properly. It is fun to watch. The ongoing test series between India and South Africa is so interseting.
 Interviewer#1 — What interseting?? It is so one sided. All the matches are getting over within 3 days. 
 OG — Sir, if you know that matches are getting over in 3 days, it means you still are following cricket. 
 *Both the interviewers got stumped(pun intended) and did not say anything after that*
 The third interviewer asked a single question after that and then our guy was asked to leave. 
 Needless to say they did not select him.

5. There were two interviewers . One male and one female.
 Assume lady Interviewer as LI
 Assume male Interviewer as MI
 So the conversation goes like this:
 MI : So, how do you find your friends by nature?
 ME : They all are cool! 
 LI : What do you mean by cool? Define ‘Cool’! 
 ME : Ma’am, The one who gets friendly with anyone, is helpful, have patience can be said ‘Cool’!
 MI : So, am I ‘Cool’?
 ME : Yes, Sir! As you are very friendly. 
 MI : Well. Is she cool? ( Pointing out at Lady Interviewer )
 ME : No She’s not!
 LI : Why? Ain’t I cool? 
 ME : No. You’re HOT
 Results : Selected ! :P

6. This happened a few days back when a company came for placements at my college. It was the HR round and the candidate entered in.

The HR asked some typical questions and the candidate answered properly.

Then came the missile which the candidate wasn’t even expecting.

HR: In your CV, you’ve written that you like chess, is that so?

C: Yes sir, I do.

HR: Okay, here’s a probability question about chess.

“You have a fair coin and a chess board. You decided to toss the coin and suppose it lands in the black square…”

and the HR kept explaining the question about probability.

I don’t know what came into the candidate’s mind but he stopped the HR and said

C: Sir, we know that coin is fair and you also mentioned that. But chess isn’t fair because it favors white as it starts the game. You cannot club fair and unfair at the same time and then ask a question expecting me to answer it. I can’t.

7. IITR 2006
 SLB final round:
 One of the panel members showed me the ToI newspaper from that day and asked if I could identify the two celebrities whose pictures were on the front page.
 Me: Yes sir, Angelina Jolie & Sania Mirza
 Interviewer: Suppose you are given a chance to take one of them for a date to a secluded island. Whom will you pick?
 Me: Sania Mirza.
 Interviewer: Why?
 Me: Sir, She is Indian and beautiful and hot. She is of of my age and also a sportsperson… <blah blah>.. I think we will hit it off well.
 (Another interviewer in the panel who I think was Italian makes a frowning face and interrupts)
 Interviewer 2: Really? How could you say no to Angelina — she is the most beautiful lady on this earth.
 (I felt that he was hurt by my answer and I opened up with the real answer)
 Me: Sir, what I just said is not the actual reason for not dating Angelina. If you read the news story on Angelina in today’s ToI, it says that she is pregnant with Brad’s baby. Who would want to take a pregnant lady on a date to an island?
 (The whole panel burst into laughter and I had a poker face)
 (a few minutes later.. the interview is about to end..)
 Interviewer: So do you have any questions for us?
 Me: Sir, I did prepare a couple of questions but I can’t recall as my mind is still thinking of my date with Sania.
 <another round of laughter ensues..>
 Result: Got the job ;)

8. Placement Season : Dec 2013
 In an HR Interview
 HR : So where do you see yourself after two years from now.
 Me : If given chance, working for ‘our’ company.
 HR : So you don’t want to go for higher studies ?
 Me : no sir.
 HR : Why ?
 Me : not interested to go.
 HR : & why so?
 ME : I believe knowledge come from interest in the field not from a degree.
 HR : what if our company wants you to go for PHD in our company’s PHD program ?…
 ME : I will decline.
 then some random question…
 after two minutes
 HR : If you are being sent back in IIT Kharagpur what will you do ?
 ME : Will take placement interview for fresher’s I guess Because I am not interested in Higher Study as I told you earlier.
 PS : got Selected.

9. A Bored Interviewer — “Can you tell me the number of hair on my head?”
 My Response — “It’s 25025 +/- 3.8%”
 The Interviewer(intrigued) — “Can you prove it?”
 My Response — “Can you prove me wrong?”
 Spot Offer

10. Tata Technologies:-
 HR: In this crucial stage of market, do you promise us that you’ll be our loyal employee?
 Me: Yes sir.
 HR: How can we trust you?
 Me: Sir, maine apka namak khaya hai. 
 ME: Sir, I have eaten your salt)
 TATA is also a manufacturer of Salt. And eating one’s salt make you Die-hard-loyal to them already (as the hindi quote suggest.)
 Result: HIRED! Like a boss.. ;)

11. This is the story of myself at IIT-Roorkee.I was in 4th yr(civil engg).Placement session had been started but nobody from our department got selected till 4–5 days.Finally one of the top software company shortlisted 4–5 guys(including me) from our dept. for interview.
 I was interviewed first.It was a tech-cum-hr interview.Interviewer looked in my CV and asked,
 Interviewer:”What is this STAAD in your CV under the head skills?”. 
 Me: “Structure analysis and design”.
 Interviewer : data structures?. 
 Me: No,no,It is related to civil engineering.
 Interviewer:you have friends?
 Me: yes,many friends
 Interviewer:do you fight with them sometimes?
 Me: yes.actually it happened last night only.
 Interviewer: What happened?
 Me: there was a question in your written exam.I was saying that option A was correct while my friend was saying option B.
 Interviewer: What happened then?(he took out question paper from his bag and marked the question)
 Me: Since it was about the outcome of a C language programming code,we ran it on his computer.
 Interviewer: what did you get then?
 Me: Option B !
 Interviewer: So, you were wrong..
 Me: No. I ran the same program on my computer and got option A !!!
 Interviewer: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How come??? what does it mean??
 Me: Actually we both used different C Compilers.Hence the correct answer is “depends on compiler” which was not in the options given..
 Interviewer smiled

12. Interviewer after knowing I am Roger Federer fan.
 Total no of rallies in a match between Federer and Nadal on grass court?
 Me: started the guesstimate with strong assumption that Fed will win in 3 sets.
 Interviewer: too optimistic. 
 Me: Sir its a grass court not clay.

 INTERVIEWER(looking at my CV, asked first question) : so you are a fan of game of thrones? 
 Me: yes sir
 INTERVIEWER: Valar morghulis 
 Me: Valar dohaeris. 
 INTERVIEWER : HIRED!!! welcome aboard.
 P. S: in CV I wrote my hobby as, watching game of thrones and breaking bad.

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