How To Talk To A Woman Who Is Sinking In Quicksand

We’ve all been there. It seems like everywhere you turn, you see a cute girl slowly and inexorably sinking into quicksand. Remember, this doesn’t mean you can’t approach them. Women know that a man’s role is to initiate the courtship, quicksand or no. Of course, not every woman being subducted into the earth is single or looking for a boyfriend, but it never hurts to try.

What To Do

  1. Get her attention.

This part isn’t hard. Usually, she’ll be screaming “Help me! Someone help me!” or something to that effect. She pretty much has to talk to whoever ambles up to her.

2. Point out the awkwardness of the situation.

Lines like “Come here often?” or “How’s the weather down there?” usually go over well. Something to break the ice without seeming too joke-y.

3. Remind her that thrashing around will only make her sink faster.

Quick jerking movements will create a vacuum beneath her, which causes the body to descend even faster into the crushing morass of sand. The key is for her to be very still. The longer her mouth stays above ground, the more time you have to get her number.

Here’s how a typical conversation would go:

You [smiling, friendly]: Hey, I know this is a little weird, but I just had to tell you how pretty you look. What’s your name?

Her [flattered and interested]: My name is Jessica. Please help me. I don’t want to die here.

You [repeating her name back to her and adding a joke]: Did you drop your contact down there, Jessica?

Her [laughing or praying]

You [letting her know that you have places to be] Look, I have a meeting at two but I’m free for dinner. What about you?

Common Mistakes Guys Make When Approaching Women In Quicksand

1. Trying to help

This is a classic beta move. No one likes a white knight. As soon as you help her out, the first thing she’s bound to say is “I have a boyfriend.” Ouch. Women like aloof men. Even if she’s already up to her neck, you have to play it cool. If this one goes under, there are bound to be more nearby.

2. Getting into the quicksand with her.

Big mistake. Now you’re sinking too.

3. Not flirting enough.

Women always communicate their true intentions by flirting. It’s a secret code they use, like semaphore or Spanish. If you only talk about quicksand or niceties, she won’t pick up the cues that you’re interested in her romantically.


Sometimes quicksand can be a man’s best friend. If you handle the situation properly, you’ll find that the deadly mixture of mud and sand can form the ultimate hot spot for meeting women. But remember, not every woman sinking to her death is looking to meet guys. Some of them just want help getting out of the quicksand. So don’t be a creep, take no for an answer and move on.

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