A Lesson Learnt From Nine Year Old
Hanif Widya Setyawan (The Winner of ICL Writing Competition)
I am a volunteer for Bina Antarbudaya in the Yogyakarta Chapter. I have never gone abroad previously in my life, unlike most people in Bina Antarbudaya. However, I comprehend one hundred percently the meaning of being an exchange student or someone who delves into a new society from a different backround. Here is a little story from my life.
I was born in Tangerang. I lived there for about a year before I moved to Pekanbaru and lived there for about eight years long. My daily life was just like other happy kids; playing, studying in school, etc. However, because of financial problems that hit my family, we had to move to another city where there were cheaper living costs and where my mother’s siblings were around so that my mother could ask for help more easily. I was nine years old when it happenned. The city was Purworejo, where my mother grew up.
Living in that city for the first year was the darkest moment of my life. Life was not as smooth as I had imagined while in Pekanbaru. I started life in Pekanbaru as a fifth grader in an elementary school at the center of the city. I was bullied even though I was the second tallest of my friends in the class. Sometimes, on a certain day of the week, my friends called me names with Javanese terms that I did not understand. They did it in class, in the library, on the sports field, and almost anywhere in school. Not only my friends, but also a teacher and a sport coach also did, although more rarely.
It was horrible. I was down everyday. Whining and expressing denial towards my self and my parents everyday.
It eventually got to the point where I realized something during my contemplation. It was all my fault after all. I remember when I was in Pekanbaru, I was typically an assertive kid. If I did not like something, I would say it straightforward. I also used to shout at other kids with Minangese curse words as in a friendly way. I realized that Purworejo is not Pekanbaru. Society absolutely has different ways and customs of life in different areas. Purworejo’s people are characteristically non-assertive. If they do not like something, they cannot spill it out straightforwardly like people in Pekanbaru. They had certain norms of decency that I as a foreigner had to abide by. From that time, I tried to behave the same way Javanese or Purworejonese did. I tried to be quiet most of the time, observe them, ask if I did not get w the point of doing this or that, and practiced fitting in. I also tried to speak Javanese, imitating their accent until I could speak their colloquial language day in and day out. As I learn more in the university, I realize that language is a representation of a culture. When you speak a different language, you also view the world differently because of the fact that each language has different stressing on at a certain situation. I feel so lucky that my decision to learn javanese was truly beneficial. It helped me a lot to overcome my interpersonal difficulties in my school.
I could get more friends after deciding to adapt to javanese culture. Slowly but surely, one by one people started to play with me and asked me to hang out.
The main message of my story is that sooner or later we must accept that there will be a certain period of our life where we have to live in another world. When it comes, we must realize Dimana bumi dipijak di sana langit dijunjung or that wherever we find ourselves we must follow the local custom. The values of where we are from do not necessarily fit into another society. There, you will realize that not all the things from your origin are better than those of another culture. That is what open-mindedness is all about. My experience has turned out to be a useful asset for me in understanding other people, especially in Bina Antarbudaya. I hope my story will offer a new perspective for Bina Antarbudaya and the readers in general.
