Genieße die Zeit

Nur Azizah Maharani (INA AFS to Germany YP 16–17)

Oh God. How can time fly so fast and trick me at once?

I thought it was yesterday when I saw Germany for the first time. I was innocent, I knew nothing, and all I had were (1) courage, and (2) the euphoria of fact that I will spend my next nine months here.

But, now, I am different.

I can’t lie: being an exchange student isn’t easy — at least at the first months.

School was hard. How was I supposed to do all the Aufgaben (tasks) and Prüfungen (examinations) when I did not even know what topic I was learning?

Making friends was even harder. I am the only exchange student in my school. Most of my exchange students friends (whom are going to the same exchange camps with me) are living in big cities such as Hannover and Hamburg (which take hours and money from a village where I live in), so I was forced to make friends with the real Deutscher.

Well, I am not saying that I hate Deutscher. It was just:

(1) they are individualistic,

(2) some of them hate talking english; and

(3) they speak german faster than they drive a car (note: my host mother ever said that Deutscher are the fastest driver in the world).

Those three points mean that some of them did not feel comfortable talking to me, I could not communicate well with them, no english, and I need to master Deutsch as fast as possible if I do not want to lose them as friends.

Doing all of my resolutions is also hard. When I was still in Indonesia, I planned a lot: traveling around Europe, becoming an art performancer, until taking a part of sport club and humanity organization.

But, after three months passed, I haven’t been anywhere and I haven’t being an art performancer yet. Well, I play handball at Kirchgellersen Sportclub and I take part in organization for refugees, but that does not work well. Now I also start to take a part in International Kindness Week and in Waldkindergarten, but I could not see the results yet.

Ja, ich vermassel alles (I screw up everything).

But, as I write down this newsletter, I realize something: these past three months have changed me into someone new. They showed me a part of myself that I haven’t seen before: the open-minded, patient, mature, strong, and never-give-up me.

My school, IGS Lüneburg, teachs me that education is not just about words and formulas that stated in books. We can learn from anything — from John Green’s novels until presidential election in USA.

The facts that I have not been anywhere and I haven’t being an art performancer yet make me a patient girl. They make me realize that (1) life does not work the way expectations work, and (2) it needs time to make something perfect.

My Deutscher friends make me a girl who would not stop trying to make everything better, no matter how big the problem I got is.

Besides giving me little injuries (and sometimes laughter), my awful handball trainings are also giving me realization that I am a girl who never scared of trying something new, even when the whole world thinks that I am a fool.

The point is, it is hard. There were times that depressed me out, times when I thought that I could not do this anymore, and times when I felt like I am the most stupid person on earth. But, as you can read above, I slowly discover the reasons why I am here.

And those reasons are beautiful, aren’t it?

Now I still have six months left, and honestly, I have no idea what my exchange time will going to be. Better? Or even worse?

I think I do not have to worry at all. All I need to do are believing that something beautiful is currently waiting for me in the end of this journey, giving my very best, and enjoying time — genieße die Zeit.