THE BEAUTIFUL UPS AND DOWNS
Ni Nyoman Moza Mardika Wulansari (INA AFS to Denmark YP 16–17)
To start this newsletter, I will tell you that…
I HAVE BEEN HERE IN DENMARK FOR 6 MONTHS ALREADY. LIKE. SERIOUSLY. I’M MORE THAN HALF WAY ALREADY.
A lot of things have happened in the past months. I started to get used to all the things here, I started to speak Danish (even though sometimes it is still difficult if they talk really fast), I started to get used in eating rugbrød (some kind of brown bread that is pretty common here in Denmark), I started to get used to the public transportation here (I’m rarely lost now!), I started to feel like… it’s my home now. I can’t believe that I actually have a place in here, on the other side of the world, 6815 miles away from Indonesia.
I would say, the past 4 months, were full of ups and downs.
I did have a lot of downs. There were times when I felt sad. There were times when I missed home, my friends, and my life back in my home country. There were times when I was so tired. There were times when I was (I still am, sometimes), fighting with my own thought. There were times when I felt depressed, when I kept complaining about all the bad things that happened to me, even though sometimes it was just a small things, small problems. There were times when I was so un-grateful.
“Why can’t I do better?”
“Why is it so hard?”
“How can she/he do it easily?”
“I am tired.”
“Why she/he/they did that?”
“Did I do something wrong?”
Those questions had been going around in my mind. But then, I kept telling myself that everything would be fine, that I’d get through this, that things would get better and better. I tried to not open social medias so often, I tried to keep enjoying every single thing that happened, and I tried to write every good thing that happened to me everyday. I tried to work harder and harder. And I feel like everything has gotten better now. Sometimes those bad-thoughts are still coming to my mind, but it is not as bad as before. I have only 4 months to go, and I don’t want to have bad emotion in those months.
I feel more grateful.
And I know I should be. Cause you know what, although I had some downs (that you may not really understand what actually happened cause it’s hard to be explained), there were actually SO MANY of good things that happened to me. There were many times when I was so extremely, absolutely, entirely, freaking happy. The fact that I can understand and speak better Danish (They said that Danish is really hard, so I should be proud of myself), the fact that my friends in school asked me to do sleepover with them (it means that they thought of me as their friend! I know it sounds stupid to be happy just because of this small thing, but yeah that’s the truth), the fact that I’m getting along really well with my host family, the fact that I have best friends who I really trust, the fact that I got so many compliments about how good I am in Danish already (not really good actually, but yeah doesn’t matter), the fact that I had so much fun with the other exchange students here, the fact that I went to Tivoli (it’s like an amusement park) and tried almost all the rides, the fact that I had my first Christmas experience, the fact that I met a lot of new people and friends from all over the world, the fact that I did a lot of presentation about Indonesia (and seeing their expression and responses), the fact that my friends told me that they have changed their perspective about Moslem because of me, the fact that they really respect and curious about my religion (they even asked me to do hijab for them), the fact that I have another family in Silkeborg (from my mini exchange program), the fact that I did ice skating 3 times already and I can say I’m good at it now, the fact that I cooked ‘Nasi Goreng’ for my host family, the fact that my cooking skill is getting better and better (I used to almost never cook in Indonesia), the fact that I’m getting really good at sewing and making clothes (I join design class here and I love it so much), the fact that I had the opportunity to teach Tari Jejer (one of Indonesian traditional dances) to my host sisters in Silkeborg, the fact that I saw snow for the very first time in my 17 years life, the fact that I become more and more independent, and many other facts; have been making my days in the past 4 months so beautiful, great, priceless, and memorable. I feel proud of my self. I really do.
I have (more less) 4 months to go, and I’m absolutely ready to face all the ups and downs again, and of course, to experience more new things.