Crazy day. Crazy world.
Jamilah* didn’t spend her pregnancy filled with a sense of excitement and anticipation like some expectant mums do. In fact, she didn’t think she’d even make it to the part where she got to hold him in her arms.
Born in Somalia in the mid 90s, Jamilah was three years old when she heard the wails of childbirth coming from her mother in the next room. As was relatively common in rural Somalia at the time, her mother had been married at 14 and gave birth to her first baby at 16. This birth that she witnessed was her mother’s sixth. Jamilah was the only baby to survive past two weeks old.
It was in her home, during the birth of her sixth child, that Jamilah’s mother died along with her baby a short time later.
According to UNICEF, the under-five and maternal mortality rates in Somalia are amongst the highest in the world with one out of every seven children not living to see their fifth birthday. One out of every 12 women die as a result of pregnancy related causes with women having, on average, six children each.
Those statistics don’t make it any easier to comprehend what happened to Jamilah’s mother.
Every one of those women is somebody’s daughter, sister, friend, mother. For women in many parts of the world, the assumption that after birth you will be there to hold your baby is one you never want to question.
“My mum was giving birth at my house [in Somalia] in the living room. Most people birth at home, including when my mum had me. She lost a lot of blood and she died. I have no photos of her.”
Jamilah came to Australia when she was 12 years old via Kenya where she spent most of her childhood after her mother died. She left home when she was 18 and was experiencing homelessness when she fell pregnant.
At 22, pregnant, and living in a refuge in Melbourne’s north, Jamilah was referred to our young mums education & peer support program, Mothering 101. Although some women at the refuge had young children, she was the only pregnant one and her needs were beyond their capacity to support her.
Late in her pregnancy she went to live at her father’s house where her stepmother helped her through the late stages of pregnancy and was present for the birth.
Ten days overdue — Jamilah was starting to get nervous.
“It was very scary when they took him out [by forceps] and he had bruises on his head. I was induced and lost three litres of blood. 18 hours of labour. I had to go to theatre for four hours after he was born. It was hard for me to give birth because I thought it’s going to be just like my mum. I was so scared. But thank God. Finally we’re here! Crazy day. Crazy world.”
If you met Jamilah you would never know that she carried such trauma and fear into her childbearing journey. She is capable, funny and bright, and is now a mum to six-month-old son Tadalesh*, which means ‘lucky’ in her native Somali. Living in her own house now with her son’s father, she laughs as she tells us that it took them two months to pick out a name for him.
How is she finding motherhood? “It’s amazing! I look at him and ‘omg’ — I can’t believe I’m his mother. Did he just come out of me?!”
Mothering 101 is an eight-week education and peer-support program for women entering motherhood who are under the age of 25 and experiencing financial hardship. Often young mums are at-risk of experiencing post-natal anxiety and depression and can become quite socially isolated during their pregnancy and with a new baby.
After completing Mothering 101, Jamilah shared this with us:
“I was so scared because I didn’t know anything about birth and labour, but after talking to Birth for HumanKIND and hearing more information about pregnancy and birth I feel better and more ready to do it. The sessions about labour and the fourth trimester were so good, they were the most interesting and useful for me. But it was all really good and easy to understand because the workers were really nice and friendly.”
Women who attend these sessions are also introduced to our doula support program, and are given the opportunity to access our free doula services.
“I had no idea what a doula was [before the young mums program]. It was helpful, they tell you everything. I used to get excited for every Monday because you get to go there and talk to other mums and they tell you about their morning sickness and how their pregnancy is going. It was great, I didn’t feel alone.”
This is the eleventh in a 12-part series to celebrate World Doula Week. Donate here to Birth for HumanKIND’s fundraising campaign and put the kindness back into birth culture. For more information on the services we provide and who we support, please visit: www.birthforhumankind.org
