Nice VS Kind

I’d like to talk a bit about Nice vs Kind. Some Trigger Warnings may apply.

So many people talk about being nice. How nice THEY are. How nice YOU should be. And all these super nice people act like being nice immediately entitles them to your respect.

But serial killers can be nice. Rapists can be nice. Vile corrupt politicians like Donald Trump can even be nice. Nice is nothing. Nice MEANS nothing. The worst people in the world can be perfectly nice to you.

Kind is more important than nice. Nice is your abusive boyfriend buying you flowers and chocolates after they’ve beaten you to a pulp. Kind is them never having hit you in the first place. Nice is your rapist calling you a cab after. Kind is never raping you at all. Nice is saying how cute minks are while you’re wearing a coat made of their skin. Kind is not wearing fur unless you’re an Eskimo or other indigenous people who actually needs fur to survive. Nice is telling your friend she’s an awesome mom. Kind is doing her dishes for her so that awesome mom can take a break for ten bloody minutes.

ANYONE can be nice and still be a shitty person. All of my exes who abused me were nice. Every bully who ever beat me up or called me names was perfectly nice in front of other people.

There are plenty of valid complaints about Steven Moffat’s writing during his tenure as showrunner for Doctor Who, but if nothing else, he gave us this mantra from Peter Capaldi’s Twelth Doctor; “Always try to be nice, but NEVER fail to be kind”.

Because kindness matters more than nice. Kindness is what the world needs more of.

So be nice if you like, but don’t forget to be kind first.