"Come on, do it for me. I'll let you get some new shoes."
New shoes? Yea, shoes that YOU want me to wear. Those stupid high heels that look like stilettos. Those stupid shoes that I can't walk in. I hate those things. I want my Nikes.
But I can't tell him that. I'm tired of the fighting.
"I don't understand why you can't give me what I want. I need it. This is what turns me on. It let's me know that you truly love me, because I know you wouldn't do this for anyone else."
Ah hell, here we go again. Bring on the guilt trips. Son of a bitch. If I try to explain that I don't want to do it because I don't like it and it makes me uncomfortable. *sigh* There is no use in resisting. It'll take more energy to resist than it would just to go with it.
"But the kids..." I try to plead. It's 1:00 in the afternoon on a Saturday, and the kids are bored watching the same old thing on tv. But if I suggest that we go out to the park he'll start in on me. "Are you meeting someone there?", "Who's gonna be there?", "Your ex gonna be there?", "You want to see him?"
"Are you thinking about your ex? You want him here? You want to talk to him?"
Oh, shit, here we go. *sigh* I don't want to play this game.
The only way to stop this from blowing up is just to give him what he wants.
I grab his crotch and start kissing him on the neck.
We move into the bedroom and I start the role playing that he wants.
"Who are you?" He asks while he spits on his fingers and put it on the head of his dick to lube it up.
God, that's discussing. I hate that he does that every time.
I take a deep breath and try to dig deep and find the energy and the courage to do this again.
"Hurry up and cum. My pimp is waiting for me." Did that sound convincing? God, I hope so. If not, I'm going to hear about it later.
"Oh yea. Are you a prostitute?"
I've got to make sure I'm making enough noise with each thrust.
"Hurry up." There is more truth to that statement then he knows.
Ok, he's not saying anything; I've got a break to do a quick check: open my eyes, make eye contact, he likes that; what kind of noises does a prostitute make? Am I making the right noises? God, I hope so; touch, what am I suppose to do with me hands?; I should have figured all this shit out by now. I've been doing this role playing for a couple of years now.
God, I hate this.
Oh shit. Did he just say something? Fuck! What should I say?
"Shut up and just cum already." That's something they would say, right?
Oh, finally, I think he's gonna finish.
"Come on! Come on! Yea, baby!"
God, I hate this. I wish I could get away from him. Then I won't have to do this degrading shit anymore. I wonder if my mom would take me and my kids in until I get on my feet. I wonder if she is still mad at me. Fuck. I don't have a car to get there.
"Can you wear those heels for me today?"
I hate you.