My Christian-Conversation Buddy
It happens every semester. I get settled into my classes, introduce myself to the people around me, and get comfortable. Some time in the first two weeks, someone will comment on my tattoos, (one of which is a quote from Ecclesiastes) ask me about my church, or ask me to pray for someone. I politely say some variant of “I’m not really religious” and their eyes widen a little bit, they focus intently on my face, and they say:
“What do you mean, you’re not religious?”
The cat is out of the bag. The hunt is afoot. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead. The shit has well and truly hit the proverbial fan. “I’m uh . . . I’m an atheist . . .” I say, and I can see the gears clicking over in his (sometimes her) head, until the inevitable conclusion is reached:
God has brought us together so that I can save you.
Welcome to Alabama, home of a million saints. Enjoy your stay.
I’m not trying to trivialize the religious beliefs of anyone, but there’s only so many times you can be pursued by someone with a gleam in their eye before you begin to yawn at them in self defense.
I’m 26 years old. I’ve been through an emotional hell that would give the most ardent martyr a raging hard-on, I’ve been kicked out of my home twice, aggressively prayed for, tormented at both home and work, screamed at, and told that I should have died in Afghanistan (I was in the Army 08–11). My father declined my wedding invitation because neither my wife nor I are religious.
At this point, I don’t even know what to say to teenagers itching for a religious argument. It’s exhausting to talk about it. It’s all fresh and new to them, but I’ve been back and forth over the same ground so many times that I’m walking in a trench.
But I’ve found my Christian Conversational Buddy for the semester. And he’s super-duper excited about having a deep, personal conversation with me, in which we will discuss the real (deep-seated, emotional) reasons I have turned away from God.
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