The Six Basic Human Needs
First I am going to try and break down Tony Robbins’ six basic human needs. The goal is to form a new point of view around these. I am going to explain these six needs then try and form my own views around them. A few things to note… When comparing with others, our needs are not met in the same way and level as the person next to us. We can act out these needs through positive, negative, and neutral ways. We are willing to give up our dreams to meet our needs and our own values. Here are the six needs. Firstly, we all need to feel certainty, this is a survival mechanism, if we never feel certain about anything we’re going to be consumed by stress and doubt. The second, is uncertainty or variety, opposition is what builds us up. The third, is significance, the need to feel special and unique. The fourth is love and connection. The fifth human need is growth, progress = happiness. The sixth and last need is contribution, what and how do we give to society.
One more important thing to mention is that in order for a behavior to become instilled we need to have 3 or 4 needs being met from that specific behavior.
The biggest drug in society is or are our problems. They are what allow us to say to ourselves that we are not enough for whatever reason. More importantly problem are how we can and are meeting our needs.
Now I will go through the list of needs and point out the one or two biggest ways I meet each specific need. Then I will state whether it’s long or short term, and if it is a positive, neutral, or negative. Some of what is written is meant to be read between the lines or intended to make connections as you read and think more about it.
Certainty. I feel it. You feel it. We all lean on it in different angles and intensities. Some may be obvious and others may take a little bit of digging to find. My big one is that I tend to work long hours. It’s not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with working long hours. From a higher level, life is more just about making decisions and living with the consequences, not about the perfectly prescribed amount of work-life balance, we’re all different in this aspect. But at times it feels that I am not even focused. I am basically working to work. Very little is getting done and I sit and battle with myself about how if I leave, then that very ultimatum is what will really make sure that I don’t get anything done. When I do make that decision I often kick myself for leaving what I feel what is quality work time on the table. Most often, this is a constant and tiring battle of circular thought and inaction. I wrap so many things up in the number of hours I work, I basically make it impossible to argue with myself. This is a negative and short term need in how I am using it. I can meet this need with the same action, and either change my perspective or add interstitial activities that will combat the negative aspect. I will combat this with the latter interstitial activity of connecting with people. Both on the level of close family and relationships, and meeting new people, as well as growing any recently made new relationships. This can be done through text, call, a direct message on social media, a like or a thumbs up, personal email, or a number of other ways. The point is to attempt to make direct contact in some way.
Uncertainty comes through my ambitions to become a successful entrepreneur. For some context, In the sense of building real and disproportionate value for other people, I have yet to be a good entrepreneur. I have not had any successful stories to tell. Yet ninety percent of my fibers force me in that direction. The problem for me is a lack of concise and immense amount of action. I find myself getting snagged on little branches, having to stop and unpin the fabric that’s caught. Back to the point at hand. I get a lot of variety and uncertainty from not having a consistent job and trying to make money from other means. The mindset is a positive & long term combination. Short term it looks pretty bad though, and it’s only good long term if I hold true to it through the decisions that I make every day. The important thing with this need is that I need to lean it on significance or love, or I’ll turn to negative or neutral uncertainty needs.
Significance is one of my top two needs. When I start to get an idea close to monetization I will suddenly stop. The questions of; is this what I am meant to be doing, can I do something that is larger at scale, am I really even helping anyone by doing this — all pop into my head and it’s the same old circular thought process. With regards to the articulation of ideas and fruition to action, there is only swelling instead of growing. There is only seemingly true honesty through overly intense micro introspection instead of real self awareness which pulls at both micro and macro introspection and action, and input from that intense action. I gain my significance through the articulation of thoughts, which is fine, but to get something truly beneficial for myself and others, I need to be able to get them into action. The thing with this, is in order for it to be positive and long term, I need to lean in on setting goals in all sizes at getting genuine positive feedback from people. Getting that genuine feedback from customers and other people will launch me further. This could be both positive and negative. The only thing is that I need to make sure to drive at the input.
My love and connection dwindle at a hopeless stance at best. I settle for connection through keeping myself distant and having medial interactions with people. Instead of having a truly open and unconditionally driven relationship. Which only drives my desire to have it even more. This is one of my two greatest areas that I am driven by and it is my worst because of allowing poor past experience dictate how things are for me. I think the only resolve to this is to allow myself to fall madly in love with someone, in the most practical sense of the word… romantic. The practical application to this is going to be to date more often and just try to connect with more girls that I have an interest in.
These last two are in their own sub-category of their own. The former four can vary more than these last two. These are needed in greater capacity from every human being in order to be happy.
Growth seems to be a strength for me. I have made a lot of bad decisions due to the lack of understanding myself and lack of experience. Experience is the great equalizer. Basically it comes down to me being in extreme discomfort because of part dwindling on past experiences and unsurety of how to get over those, or an unwillingness to do so. To me, it probably more comes down to setting up fences in my own mind. These fences are usually the short white picket fences. It’s about understanding my unwillingness to look at things for what they are. It’s about realizing that my own physiological state may be controlled by subconscious activity, and even though fear and anxiety are a very real thing, I do have power to overcome them. The feeling of angst is what drives my growth. The feeling of complete insecurity driven by an intense feeling of hope. To sum it up, angst is what drives my growth and I believe it is a disguised long term positive. I am always going to have things that need improvement. As long as I have an intense feeling of hope, that seems to be innate, then I will be able to grow my entire life.
Contribution is wrapped up in my entrepreneurial activities as well. The greatest contribution that I am going to have in this life is through my understanding and experience with business & business men & women. It will come through the systems that they & myself create. How I am going to do that, I still have yet to fully come to understand, but until that idea is pushed further I will have to continue to push. This will have to be a long term positive, which makes it a more difficult.
To help wrap it up there is something to be said about understanding these areas. These areas are the most common patterns that have been picked out from tens of thousands of people. These are about getting closer to the end goal, not in dire sprints, but in daily spurts. We need to be able to match our goals with our strengths and weaknesses. The goal is self awareness and understanding where our goals fit into our reality. Then getting the most out of the two.