I woke up to a message from someone (I have her permission to share), it goes "What is the place of consent in Marital Sex?"
The truth is that irrespective of the relationships people share, there must be consent. Consent must be given and taken at every step of the way. We agree that in marriage, there are days we bend over backwards when it comes to sex and many other things but that bending mustn't be a habit. It's okay not to feel like having sex on certain days and have your partner respect it. It's okay to feel like kissing your husband and wife but not wanting penetrative sex. I have seen women and men who give in to their spouses sexual demand against their will or interest and even though it was tender, loving and good, they still feel terrible afterwards because initially they didn't want to but just had to. The painful thing is that many partners don't share this feeling with their spouses, they internalize it and trouble might just begin in paradise from there.
The Bible verse Hebrew 13:4 "Marriage is honorable with the bed undefiled doesn't just apply to when you are single/courting as we like to use it here in Nigeria. It is ongoing especially in the marriage, see the emphasis on adultery. I particularly like the International Standard Version that says
4Let marriage be kept honorable in every way, and the marriage bed undefiled. For God will judge those who commit sexual sins, especially those who commit adultery.
When you force, coerce, blackmail or cajole your partner into sex against their will, is the marriage bed still honorable & undefiled?! Have you ever asked your partner how he/she felt after the sex they gave into even though initially they had turned it down?
Kindly share your thoughts too
#SRHR+Religion #SRHR #Consent