Post 3 on my travels around South America. Currently road tripping down the Chilean coast.
Arrive to the beautiful caleta of Rumena, decide it’s as good a place as any and begin getting rid of your hunger pains.
1. Only one of you has ever made gnocchi before and they were following the directions of a more experienced person. Decide your love for gnocchi will magically make you become an expert at making it and forge ahead anyway.
2. Search the camper for everything. Manage to locate one sharp knife and Rachel's penknife.
3. Peel the potatoes using the large ungainly knife and only cut yourself once in the process. Continue to use the same knife even after it sliced through your thumb.
4. Boil the potatoes on the gas ring. It boils over at least four times as Pablo refuses to leave the lid off and spends at least 15 minutes tinkering with the ring in an attempt to stop it boiling over.
5. Thankfully the potatoes are now cooked so you can turn off the gas. Drain and mash with a fork. Be too lazy to mash really well so end up with a slighty (read fairly) lumpy mixture.
6. Add weed butter you previously made and squeezed the shit out of to extract. Add about half of a small carton of cream. Mix again.
7. Add an egg and flour in an attempt to make the dough for gnocchi. Be afraid of adding too much flour so don’t add enough and be left with slightly too damp 'dough’.
8. Consult with Rachael and add a good bit more flour to try to salvage the dough.
9. Get the texture close to ok and roll it out into long strips. Eat the ones with lumps (hide the evidence).
Pass to Rach to slice up with a fork and then attempt to roll them off the back if it to try to get the gnocchi 'look’. Fail terribly but decide on average they look like gnocchi.
11. Gather them up to boil but end up with a big pile of mutant gnocchi as they all mush together and become malformed.
12. Re-roll them as best you can and drop into boiling water. Leave the first batch in too long and let them melt down into a pile of mush you throw away 'for the birds’.
13. They rest of the batches go fine. Less time is the key.
14. Meanwhile sauté onions and capsicum pepper in a pan with oil. Add randomly oregano, garlic powder and salt and pepper. Add soy sauce got the onions for 'juice’.
15. Spoon generous tablespoons of pesto into the pan. Add another half a spoon. Then add the rest of the cream to make it extra good (fattening).
16. As the gnocchi is cooked and floats, scoop it directly into the pan with the pesto.
17. Realise you made waaay too much gnocchi and start to feel a bit intimidated. Decide to cook it all anyway.
18. Divide in three as you start to feel a little spacy from all the dough you ate and the half bottle of wine that was necessary to the cooking process.
19. Try to stop the drooling as you wait for the others to sit down.
20. Eat as you pull the stems out from between your teeth.
21. Wash up and finish the wine. Go wander on the beach and be confused by the rock formations and various other things.
22. Make the life threatening 3 stepping-stones across the outflow and over to the blowhole.
23. Collect crab shells on the way as well as a stick and decide to do arts and crafts.
24. Make paper- mache from random newspaper pages and woodglue mixed with water.
25. Try various badly reasoned things to try to stick the shells to the stick. Discover a face on the stick.
26. Paint the shells to make them stronger but do a test one to make sure it works. Put waaay to much one one for the shells. This is hilarious.
27. Mash paper-mache with more glue and put it on the inside of the shells.
28. Decide the placement of the shells and mash them onto the stick. Surprisingly it works.
29. Stash it in the bathroom to let it dry. Listen to Pablo start a story with so… and then stop, forgetting what he was going to say. At least 5 times.
30. Take at least 3 times as long to make the bed as it should take and then fall into bed.
31. Wake up to the morning rush hour going past which consists of 3 Ute’s a motorbike, and a tractor.
32. Remember your “art” from last night and wonder what the actual fuck you were doing. Decide to be more careful with the cannobutter in future.
33. Ziptie the “art” to the railings by the beach so others can enjoy it and make a swift exit.