The Red Pill Won’t Save You

The Real Secret to Making Relationships With Women

The Red Pill

Many men interested in their own improvement happen to discover the Red Pill community. And for good reason. These men like you are searching for ways to make themselves better. To feel like they have ownership over their lives.

The Red Pill encourages the the transformation of your beta-self to a high value man driven by his purpose. High value men attract women through their focus on money, looks, status, and game.

Sounds good, right? What’s wrong with anything here so far? Not much. But the real problem comes with the ideology.

The Red Pill intends to wake men up to the reality of the world. What they were told growing up, what the media portrays about human behavior is a lie. All the Disney films you watched growing up? Try to take life lessons from them, and you’ll end up in the gutter!

There’s a spectrum to how disastrous these ideological convictions are. At the most extreme, there is a conspiracy where Western feminism has molded society today in favor of women. In this society men are portrayed as evil and women as victims.

The liberated woman can now freely choose their partner. By their biological instinct, the more good looking and wealthier partner the better. This pursuit for the most suitable partner is called hypergamy.

There are others on the Red Pill who share the same belief as their Black Pill brothers that the dating market in the West is hopeless. Get your passports! Meet your future wife and establish a business in Russia, Ukraine, Romania, Colombia, Brazil, Japan, Philippines, or Thailand!

The Problem

What’s the problem with this ideology? All of it. Even in its moderate forms.

Let me be blunt. Men, feminism is not stopping you from dating.

Look, if your ideology is men belong in the public sphere and women belong in the private sphere, that’s your problem.

Women have been advocating for hundreds and hundreds of years for the ability to freely participate in social, political, and economic settings and for control over their ability to reproduce.

If you are looking for a sweet girl with traditional values, you can still find them but you must accept that their numbers are shrinking. The sooner this is no longer an obstacle for you, your dating options grow tremendously.

But what about hypergamy? How can I find a stable relationship if she’s always going to pass me on for somebody else? Obviously self-improvement is important here to attracting and maintaining relationships. However, there is also a fact to consider that makes this issue much easier to resolve. Simply, hypergamy does not exist at least in the way Red Pill communities like to portray it.

One 2019 study summarizes evidence from the past few decades:

Humans mate with self-similar partners across a wide array of dimensions. For example, mated partners tend to be improbably similar to one another in terms of education (Mare, 1991), intelligence (Bouchard & McGue, 1981), and physical attractiveness (Feingold, 1988).

So obviously “hypergamy” may happen if you are not as educated or good looking as her. But if you are in the same ballpark as her, there is little need to worry especially if you also use my secret that I will share at the end of this post. Even if you’re an average guy, you have plenty of women to date. Increasing your status and attractiveness sure can help increase your prospects, but unless you are trying to date certain groups of women, even with no to a little amount of self-improvement you can still have a happy and generally stable relationship.

What about going abroad to find your partner? We live in an increasingly globalized world. As 90 Day Fiance notoriously shows, the dating market today is international. And especially with the resources of the average man in the West, American men have the ability to date and make an income just about anywhere.

So to all the Red and Black Pillers flying around the world to find the women of their dreams. Good luck! Maybe you will find a lot more women that are ideologically closer to you. Just know that in every country you are visiting their is a scary feminist movement there too. And as history has showed us, as these countries continue to grow economically so too will feminism.

To the Red Pillers of this persuasion reading this in thirty years, can you say la podemos hacer?

So what’s the alternative to adopting this sham ideology? Simply stop focusing on ideology and focus on the women in front of you.

The Secret to Having Great Relationships

The secret to having great relationships with women is straightforward: be interesting! show her an adventure.

Have some curiosity. Find her boring? And her likewise? Why waste time? There’s plenty of women for you to meet and have a good time with.

The truth is that if you are not an interesting person you are not going to have many fulfilling relationships.

How do you become interesting? Find your passion. This is far beyond having a good personality. Dive into your interests. This can be the mission behind your business, the sports you enjoy, a period of history your obsessed with, or whatever else drives you.

You many have heard that within 10 seconds of meeting you a woman decides if she wants to sleep with you. That may be true for hookups, but many relationships begin as a genuine friendship.

Here’s a statistic: 68 percent of romantic relationships start from friendship.

That’s right. Most relationships take time to build. First as friends and then as lovers.

Is this the path that every man needs to take? No. But if you are seeking a relationship that is with someone you are compatible with and has a relatively high percent of success, slowing things down may prove to revolutionize your dating life.

You can meet women either through communities that share your interests or maybe there is someone already in your friend group. There is little need for game here. Your game is your ability to express your intentions and curiosity towards her and express an unwavering interest towards learning about her. You are already friends at this point. There are no special lines you need to say. But when you do catch feelings for her that’s when you have that conversation. And if you really took the time to get to know her, her values line up with yours, and you give her a window as to what life can look like with you — you’ve already done the dirty work. If she sees a future with you then congrats you are about to be in the greatest relationship of your life!

None of what I have to say precludes the need for self-improvement. Much of these posts in the future will be dedicated towards increasing the quality of your life through action. I agree with the Red-Pill community that improving yourself opens up an unbelievable amount of opportunities. But the ideology is far more harmful than helpful along with all this “Pill” discourse.

Blaming feminism for your failures is a you-problem not a societal one. Unlearn the ideology and see the world for what it really is. A world full of adventures to have and relationships to make.

There’s nothing I want more as a result of this post then for men to be successful and satisfied with their lives. That may mean some hard truths for those already exposed to the Red Pill. But I hope you can gain a different perspective, and trust me, you’ll be better for it.