The Pursuit of Weightloss

Nearly my entire life I have been ‘Losing weight’. Just 30lb, 5lbs, 10lb, 15lb, just 2 more Lbs…. and then I’ll be happy. I can remember as far back as about 10 years old, laying in bed and feeling how much fat I can grab on my belly, and trying to keep track of that mental measurment.

I went for walks, runs and bike rides all the time as a kid/teenager and the main reason was weight loss. When I think back now, I think it’s awesome how active I was so young. I enjoyed it too, and did a lot of it with my Mom. I just wish I was doing all the activities to ENJOY them, and learn the REAL health benefits from them, and not just to lose weight.

As soon as I was old enough to use the gym, I did. My uncle owned a gym, I worked weekends there folding towels, so that was convenient. I then started trying to lose weight in the gym too. And after all this, I was never really a thin girl. Though, now that I look back maybe I was? All I know is that I didn’t think so. My brother and my sister were always thinner than me. I had a good appetite, still do, always will. But I ate pretty healthy, my parents never bought us those pizza luncheons, frozen dishes, or pizza pops. We didn’t have pops and juices in the house, or candies or really any ‘junk’ unless it was a treat. My mom made my lunches for as long as I can remember, I don’t think I ever ate in a cafeteria until I had my own money to do so.

After pursuing the gym for a few years I became a trainer, I moved to the city, I continued to pursue weightloss. Now with all the exerperience, knowledge and working with a team around me including nutritionists, dietitians, personal trainers, some guy that was selling some kind of weird ‘supplements’ on Yonge street. I finally got thin. It lasted all of 6 months but I got myself down to 106lbs.

Was I happier? No

Was I healthy? No

Was I content? No

Did I feel prettier? No

Did I feel sexier? No

Did I get more attention? No

More confident? No

Weight came back on because the lifestyle I was living to be 106lbs was unsustainable. In time, and more growth in the gym, in training my clients, in learning who I am and what I love, I have grown to realize that MY life doesn’t need to revolve around being a certain weight to maintain some imaginary level of happiness. This is a huge misconception that humans have. It is driven by the media and all of the industries that bank off of body image and weight loss. Does this include personal training? Yeah, most might think so.

I want to END that stigma. I want the young me to run and ride and walk because I enjoy it. I want the current me and everybody else to pursue ACTIVITY (in and out of the gym) to find stress relief, power, energy, and knowledge of how the body works and how the body should feel, and a thousand other reasons that have nothing to do with weight loss. I want everyone to find balance, and balance for everyone is different. When someone is chasing weightloss (and not from a health perspective) it is often out of chasing happiness, and they think a certain body type will get them that.

Things to remember:

  • The girls in the magazines don’t look like the girls in the magazines.
  • Happiness comes from within
  • Photoshop is a heavy thing.
  • Size does not equal health.
  • Everyones health is a different size.
  • Mental health is health too