Kudos to you. This was excellently written. Its always eye opening to hear these sorts of stories. Rape culture is absolutely a thing, and it rears its ugly head far too often. I mean how often do you hear “Oh dude why didn’t you get some, are you a bitch?”
I dunno, at least that is what I heard often in my friend group. Being a male there is a constant expectation that any time you are alone with a girl you are supposed to have sex with them, cause that is apparently the thing to do, no matter what cost.
As a disclaimer, this is not meant to discredit your views in the slightest, because women have to endure the emotional weight of this their whole lives, and its a societal disease, in the following paragraphs I merely wish to share my experience.
I was sexually assaulted on a number of occasions as a kid in my early teens. I am a male, and my attacker was an older female. I was laughed in my face for saying that I didn’t want it to any friends, so I kept it to myself. I didn’t talk about it until I was about 20 when I told my then girlfriend about my experience. Her and her sister and a large portion of her family were big advocates for victims of rape. However, a cousin of hers tells me, ‘well, but you weren’t like REALLY raped though so you don’t understand what we go through’
It was completely and utterly invalidating, and I have lived my whole life thinking I am lying to myself and that I MUST have enjoyed it right? I MUST have enjoyed the fact that this woman violated me, and made me feel so small, and completely shattered my ability to fully trust any woman ever. Because hey, I got my dick wet so why should I be angry, ALL young boys want to have sex!
Basically, what I want to say is this culture is poisoning all of us. Men WILL get what they want apparently, and we are taught that if you have sex its a good thing no matter what, and if you didn’t enjoy it, well you are pathetic. Its deeply and disgustingly disturbing.
Of course I cannot imagine being on the other side of it, but I thought it would be helpful to hear that perspective too.