Youth Coaching Chronicles: Transitioning to the Other Side

Brad Barnett
Sep 7, 2018 · 3 min read

It’s been over a year since I have written as part of this series, and there is a good reason as to why I’m dusting it off one last time for a quick post. This past season, I finished my last season as a coach; at least for a few years. The transition to other sideline has been unique and difficult on many levels.

First, let explain why I decided to not coach anymore. The decision was impacted by three factors; the merger of my club into another, my job, and my daughter. The first is much easier to explain, so let’s start there. The club where I started coaching at a high level was being absorbed, merging, being taken over, use whatever words you want, but the fact is that it was not going to exist in its form the next season. My wife and I, who coached with me, had been discussing stepping down and letting our U12 girls team go their separate ways. With the club not staying in its same form, it made that timing perfect.

My job also played a part in this, and also why I am not as active with my podcast, The Second Yellow Soccer Show, as often as I should be. Over the last year my role within the company expanded and I have taken on more responsibility. This has made leaving at 4:30 pm every Tuesday and Thursday a bit of an inconvenience as I would have to work after practice most nights just to stay on top of everything. While my boss was extremely understanding, there were times where I could tell that it impacted things we were working on, and that can wear thin very quickly. Noticing this, we knew something had to give, and it wasn’t going to be my full-time job.

The last, and more important, factor was my daughter. I had been her coach since she was 4, with the exception of this past spring season with her middle school team. I felt it was important that she started hearing from other coaches so she could expand her skill set and knowledge of the game. However, the one thing that really made me stop and second guess coaching her another year, were these spoken words from her: “I don’t know what it’s like having a parent on the sideline”. That’s all it took. Once she said those words to my wife and I, we knew it was time to walk away. I hated it. I missed my team. I missed the teaching. I missed it all, as soon as it was gone.

Transitioning to the other sideline as a parent was difficult. Not coaching during her practices and games, even more difficult. I find myself wanting to yell instruction to her and her teammates during their practices, but I remain quiet. I find times that I am observing games and thinking about how I would shift the formation, or make the lineup different, but I remain quiet. On the drive home, I always ask her if there is anything she didn’t understand or if there is anything she needs me to clarify. I always get a “no”, so I remain quiet. It’s extremely difficult, more so that I would have thought.

So I just sit there, in my folding chair, watching as she continues to grow. Being as supportive as I can. Waiting for the day that she asks for my advice. Being a parent on the sideline. Just like she wanted.

Brad Barnett

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I do a lot of different things. Husband, father, corporate analyst, writer, podcast host…basically just try to stay busy. All opinions are my own.