The above picture was posted to Facebook 2 years ago with the caption, “On a New Mexican adventure. More photographs to come.”
Aside from the egregious abuse of the word “photograph” (it was just a disposable camera), I’m glad for the timeliness of this memory popping back up on my feed. It reminds me of what was going through that Jake’s head at the time, and all that he was experiencing, and all that he was about to experience.
That person that you see is one that is right in the throes of a spiritual awakening, one that is hyper-aware of his own self and those around him for the first time maybe ever, and one that is ready to hit the ground running once he gets back home to go through yet another year of college.
And, the poor schmuck, he has no idea.
He has no idea what’s coming down the line, how badly he’s going to eff it up time and time again, and the extent to which grace will reach to bring him out of some of the deepest mires of his until-now-relatively-easy life.
He also has no idea how much joy he will experience over the next couple of years, how the instances of painful correction give way to better relationships and situations, and how blessings of all sorts are around every corner.
He doesn’t know any of this stuff, but by God, he’s ready for it.
In these brief moments of clarity (which are becoming increasingly less rare), I tend to take cross-sections of my life and lay them side by side. Along with a great (and welcome) margin of growth in maturity of all sorts, I also notice striking similarities between instances that are separated by months and even years. Case in point:
This is the face of me, right now, at 12:46 am on August 6th, 2015, writing this crap. This is the same person as that person at the top of this page, the only differences being 2 years and a much less interesting backdrop. But it’s the same person, I promise.
This person that you see is one that is right in the throes of a spiritual and emotional transition the like of which he hasn’t seen yet, one that is more honest with himself and those around him than he has ever been before, and one that is ready to hit the ground running as he makes a foreign city his home and is otherwise thrust fully into adulthood.
And I, the aforementioned poor schmuck, have no idea.
I haven’t the foggiest about what is down the line, what new ways I will conjure to eff it up to keep grace on its toes (where it stays), and what hardships I will have to endure as I adjust to new people and new places.
I also don’t know about the grand adventure on which I will be led step by God-given step, how crippling anxieties will give way to delicious, joy-filled moments, and how blessings of every sort are still around every corner.
I don’t know about any of this stuff, but by God, I’m ready for it.