11 Years Without Rosemary

Rosemary was released from her pain and suffering 11 years ago today (May 25th).

During the first year after her passing, there were the numerous and expected “first events without Rosemary” or “without mommy.” For example, first birthdays without, first summer holidays without, first school prep without, first extended family Christmas without… so, so, so many firsts without.

During the first couple of years, I frequently wondered what life was going to be like without my generous, loving, competent, funny companion, and partner by my side.

And the doubt. The doubt of not being able to raise two children into loving, capable, kind, faith based, others focused, contributing members of their own future families, of a faith community, and of society.

Those questions and doubts don’t get easily or quickly answered or resolved.

I remember a conversation I had at a coffee shop with then-pastor Todd in January 2008. The cancer prognosis was not great and it didn’t look like we were going to win this second battle. Todd asked me something along the lines of, “What scares you about the future?”

I thought about it for a moment and responded, “Becoming bitter.”

And now 11 years later with perhaps a tiny bit of perspective, I can say, the Lord has always answered our prayers in His timing, sustained our family, and provided for our needs. Our family, friends and faith community have been a continual source of support, of advice, of help, and encouragement. And sometimes the encouragement was so appreciated and needed!

And I haven’t become bitter and I’m very thankful for that. I think it would be very easy to become bitter and discouraged based upon a journey like the one we’ve been traveling. Such feelings, I believe, would cloud my perspective or worldview on everything else in our lives. That wouldn’t be helpful or beneficial for anyone, let alone for our children. I’m so thankful that I’ve been able to retain a positive attitude and a trust in that, no matter what may come our way, I know that the Lord will provide and those around us will support. That doesn’t mean it’ll be easy; that means it’ll be doable and any difficulties will help us to grow.

Our kids are now both adults: one in university taking Systems Design Engineering Co-op and the other starting university this fall taking Computer Engineering Co-op.

I don’t know how other people get through such life journey challenges without a strong faith and a strong faith community to support their family. I would be lost without both of these pillars of my life.

So many people have been a part of our journey to date, many for years before Rosemary passed away, others at various points along the way. I want you to know that I appreciate your support, advice, help, encouragement, and everything else you’ve contributed to our family and our journey to date.

And thank you to everyone who was able to join us for our 10 year memorial event last year. The memories you shared were very special to our family. I’m glad we were able to capture them on video.

So, we continue walking into the future, one step at a time as the Lord guides our path.

Thanks for caring.

Doug

For my thoughts on the following aspects of our journey, read “10 Years After Rosemary Passed Away: My Thoughts”:

• What’s happened in 10 years?
• What were/are the challenges I had to overcome?
• What have I learned?
• What’s been the hardest?
• In Conclusion