Exactly: “ We need not just time in the physical presence of another person; we need to see a “gleam in the eye” of warmth and acceptance…” As an older man, who was raised with exposure to the Edwardian era of my Grandma and the glamorous 40’s era of my Mom, I have been astounded and saddened by the real dislike for women exposed by the many #MeToo stories.
Men want sex, really really want to touch women. Even just looking at women is intensely arousing. That seems to have been the case forever, but the hatred of women expressed by the Weinstein types is ugly and reflective of deep alienation from the feminine half of humanity. Where is the romance? Where is the admiration? Where is the effort to seduce, beguile, persuade, enchant?
I mean, don’t men like women anymore? “She’s hot” seems to have overwhelmed “she’s nice, she’s beautiful, she’s sweet, she’s lovely- I really like her.” When I was young, we had a thing called dating. It involved having fun together doing things out among other people. Movies, dinners, museums, parks, plays, concerts, walks, talks, laughs, hand-holding- infatuation and building excitement and warmth- until consummation was mutual and happy. Of course it didn’t always follow that trajectory. “Boy meets girl” was followed by “boy loses girl” and “boy regains girl” was often followed by divorce, destitution, and even death, but there was an ideal to aim for.
What is the ideal in the age of grinder?
Speaking of Cosmo, and the proposition that sex is not a biological need- which I find arguable. Yes, sex isn’t like breathing for the individual organism. You will not die without sex, but the species certainly will become as extinct as Shakers without it, so the biological imperative shouldn’t be dismissed. Bit, haven’t a few generations of young women been instructed that orgasm is necessary and desirable for health? Isn’t that the implicit message of much of the ”Cosmo girl” ideology? Separating sex from love doesn’t seem to have been fulfilling for a few generations of women. Isn’t the author here saying that separating love, or “connection” from sex is driving young men crazy?
Let’s have a little romance. Women are great, and men aren’t that bad. They just need a little training and encouragement ( best done as puppies ).
