If your husband is a real partner, he’ll want you to do what you need to do for your happiness and sanity. Tell him you need to go visit with a friend for 90 minutes once every other week, and develop a plan for how the two of you can make that happen.

If it means he has to fold a load of laundry or take on the carpenter ants, there’s a good chance doing that will actually make him feel better. He knows that his fruitless job search sucks for both of you, and he’ll embrace the opportunity to do something to make things better for you.