11 Hacks Guaranteed NOT To Result In Explosive Growth
With everyone desperately trying to build their following online, it’s no wonder that the growth gurus have responded with an endless supply of clever techniques.
Google any subject these days and mixed in with your relevant results will be traffic growth hacks.
For example, your results for “easter egg hunt” might include an idea for printing your URL on little slips of paper and stuffing them along with the jelly beans inside your sister-in-law’s plastic Easter eggs.
Don’t laugh. Most kids have smart phones now.
But the point is that as competition for engagement continues to heat up, we’re all getting a little more willing to try any crazy hack we come across.
What could go wrong, right?
Well, if it’a a hack that has nothing to do with online growth — plenty.
So in response to this (and to help fulfill some of my community service obligations) I have compiled a list of hacks you do NOT want to use.
These are all bona fide definitions taken from my 1973 edition of Webster’s Extremely Heavy English Dictionary.
Hack — a rack for drying fish
Hack — an indentation in the ice for planting your foot while curling
Hack — a worn out horse
Hack — a talented artist who sells out for money
Hack — a carriage for hire
Hack — a staff writer forced to pound out drivel
Hack — a rack for holding livestock fodder
Hack — purposefully striking the arm of a basketball opponent
Hack — a political operative willing to carry out any order
Hack — a low pile of unburnt bricks
Hack — a particularly nagging cough
I suggest printing this list and keeping it in your waistcoat pocket for handy reference.
And please, let me know if you come across any other hacks that are destined to fail.