I’m happy if my partner is happy and finds someone new.
Compersion is not compulsory
Lola Phoenix

I completely agree with you that the poly community (at least here in New York City) is scornful of people who do polyamory differently, such as by exhibiting signs of jealousy, etc. But that doesn’t mean compersion is “bullshit”. In fact, you have expressed feeling it right in this sentence. I’ve never seen compersion defined as wanting to hear every detail of your partners’ sex with others. It’s just being happy for them being happy in another relationship. You’ve unnecessarily created a straw man out of compersion. I’m sorry if it’s been conveyed to you that way. It really sucks when people try to enforce compulsory compersion or pathologize jealousy. That’s the real bullshit. But compersion can be an awesome thing, at least for those of us who enjoy it for ourselves (the way you seem to) and leave others to do ethical nonmonogamy however they see fit.