I tend not to vote when there’s a wide margin between candidates, or for presidential generals, because my vote in NY literally isn’t counted due to the ridiculous electoral college. I also don’t really like the idea of voting for my ruler, though I would do it if my vote could make a difference for marginalized people. As you rightly note, unlike other radicals I believe it does matter who’s running this shit show we call a government. I would participate heavily in a direct democracy, but I don’t see how votes for rulers count or can be effective in most cases. I have turned out when I had reason to think the margin was narrower than strict certainty.
In the New York Democratic primary, where Hillary’s margin is not a guarantee, I’m not allowed to vote, because I’m registered independent, so that’s that. I would likely vote for the lesser of the two evils (Bernie, by far), though I’d have to plug my nose while doing so, just as I would have to in the general if my vote counted.
I respect whatever choice you make in terms of whom to vote for; it’s definitely your prerogative, and I don’t want to trample on it. I just can’t understand it in this case, precisely because I think I know you and your values, and I definitely know the implications of the difference between Bernie and Hillary, which in practice may actually be more drastic than the difference between Hilllary and most Republicans, though that’s hard to be sure of… I wouldn’t want to take that risk. I am terrified of another Clinton presidency, in ways I wasn’t for Obama and would not be for Bernie.