Julie,
Thank you for your courage in writing this story. I know its hard to share something in an open forum like this. The pain you have experienced in your family, church, and marriage also pain me. I can see that you wanted to reach out for someone when times were hard and no one was there. I read this story 2 days ago, and it has weighed heavy on my heart ever since. This is why I feel I need to respond.
I have to be up-front with you and tell you that I am a christian and am employed at a church. I grew up in a catholic family and as I began to understand the teachings of the Bible I felt called to worship through an evangelical church. For the record, I did not vote for Trump. I am repulsed by his lack of morals, his lack of compassion for people of color, and his disregard for truth. I have a close friend that is affected by Trump’s stance on DACA. My parents are Trump supporters also. I might be close to your age. All this to say, our paths in life have had some overlap, but we have landed in a very different place.
When I decided to not like Trump, but to stand firm in my own convictions- I decided that my President does not decide the course of my life- my King does. If a corrupt man has set you off course, then you have opened a door for him to reign in your life. Close it! Your family and your church is not defined by their vote. These are the things meant to deceive. Below the skin is the fear or the shame or the lie that makes a mess of relationships. This calls for understanding and communication. Not silence and walls. After all, what do you call someone who builds a wall?
I have seen the Press Secretary state that “God wanted Trump to become President.” This is an awkward statement, but- at the risk of losing your attention- I believe there may actually be truth here. Our nation does not seek God anymore. We are in-turn led by a leader who does not seek God anymore. It seems like we could just as easily say that our nation wants Trump to become President. If God could teach us the value of truth by having Trump as President- does that have no value? Isn’t truth higher than the lie? If those who see imperfection in their leaders seek a perfect leader, isn’t this better? Aren’t you looking for more? The question is: what are you looking for- ultimately?
In a max of 5+ years, Trump can no longer be President. So what’s left? The wounds with your family? Undoing what Trump did? What about the next leader? The one after that? After that? What about when you run out of “after that”?
I am saddened by the fact that your church became a place of judgment and not a place of love. This was not what Jesus intended. I promise. Read the “woman at the well” and see how Jesus responded. Most hospitals and charitable organizations have their origins in faith. I’m saddened that you felt that your faith “required a willful shut-down of critical thinking.” This is not what Jesus intended. I promise. Most higher universities have their origins in faith. I pray every day as I walk in to work that the church would have unity and greater things than these would be done.
Therefore Pilate said to Him, “So You are a king?” Jesus answered, “You say correctly that I am a king. For this I have been born, and for this I have come into the world, to testify to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice.” Pilate said to Him, “What is truth?”
Your pain is real. Your tears are real. What’s more is that they are merited. I pray that you know that this is not about being right or proving an ideology. You have set your sights on truth. This is the truth that Jesus has revealed to me in my life. My hope is not in a repaired America. My hope is in a place where there is no more pain, no more lying, no more death. Is there something more, Julie?
