Dreams, Ruptures, & Deaths: A Subconscious Historical Document

I don’t think I’m the only one, but my dreams intensify during certain seasons of life. They represent the death of certain aspects of me, or show me something about myself I’d otherwise rather not see, or be made aware of. I can look back on my life at the times of major change, and I can associate the dreams that went along with that time. Last night I had one of these dreams.

I’m not sure where I was, but I had a lot of equipment with me in a yard. There was a party going on in the house, but I never entered it. I felt like I shouldn’t be there. There was tension. I was hoping someone wouldn’t show up, but I saw them from the outside with a child, both dressed in black, with like a pink-ish blue wig on. I could see they saw me and we both turned away as if we shouldn’t be here.

I started packing up. I remember being overwhelmed and wondering why I had so much shit. I wasn’t getting out there anytime soon. The person came back to talk to me and accuse me of paying money to someone. It was a matter of $3, but apparently this person couldn’t accept money because of what they do for a living. We argued and I was adamant that I didn’t give anyone $3. I said this person is just trying to create tension, they are lying, and I wanted nothing to do with this drama.

The argument got heated. Then the person walked over to a notebook on a table and began to write a note. I wanted to look at what was being written, but I decided to not be intrusive and let things happen. It was a short note, maybe like 5 words? They finished writing and began to walk away. I stood there and walked them walk away for me. I didn’t feel any anger, sadness, or happiness. I was strange. I remember specially how I was standing. My hands in pocket, my feet firmly planted in the ground, and I watched until they were out of sight. I turned back to what I was doing, continued to clean up, and felt no remorse about what just happened. I had what I needed to do and that’s what I was focused on.

When analyzing dreams, it’s important to figure what each person in the dream represents about you. The dream, generally, isn’t about a specific person, but about you. If someone dies in a dream, that part of you is dying or dead. I’m not sure yet the meaning of this dream, but something is there. I intend on figuring this out.

Dreams are both wonderful and terrifying. I’ve learned to not be afraid of them, but to pay attention to them. Like Carl Jung said, “Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”