So I was crying in my therapist’s office — not my life coach, my therapist — just like, Aw jeez my feelings are always getting hurt and I can’t stop talking about that. I just want everyone to know when my feelings are hurt as soon as they start hurting, which is like so much of the time.
Everyone’s always going on and on about Dreams. Callings. Superpowers and top-three-strengths. What are your top-three-strengths, says the life coach. I shrug and shrink and make groaning noises and slap my forehead and squeeze my eyes shut and try to envision the top-three-strengths. OK, maybe not three, what about just one, just one thing you’re good at.
Are you organized? Good at time management?
no no no
Are you adaptable, up for a challenge, a great project leader?
no no no no
OK, but you have a GOOD ATTITUDE, you’re loyal, you work hard?
only out of desperation because I’m not good at anything
OK, well why don’t you go give it some thought.
I saw that movie “Paterson” and I liked it OK. I wish the beautiful woman in it didn’t have to be a fucking bake-sale-loving ditz whose brain is adorably smaller than her medium-ambitious master poet boyfriend, but whatever. She’s a simple gal. She likes black and white. Get it? Simple simple simple.
I can’t see movies anymore without focusing heavy on the women. All the mistreated women in movies are Hillary Clinton to me.
It’s that medium-ambitious part of “Paterson” I really dig. Like “I drive a bus, I love that waterfall outside of town, I like that the matches font looks like a megaphone.” Cool cool cool. Nothing’s happening, nobody’s worried about it. That’s The Dream.
I know I sound sad. I’m just really mad at the government and also I watched “Gone Girl” and you know what, it sucked just as much as the book. I can’t believe I paid $5.99 to watch it. Can you believe that? I can’t. I just can’t even fucking believe it.