Why Are Men So Lazy?… Or Are They?
Why are there such differences between genders when it comes to cleaning? Are men really bad at it? Or is it just unpopular to stand up for them? Here are some answers.
Outdated Standards and a Need for Change
We live in the Information age, where the public opinion matters and the voice of people can be heard. In the last few decades, the topic of female oppression throughout history has gained popularity. And women seem to be really fed up with men’s lack of contribution at home. Gender roles in the household were defined for centuries. Men work, women clean. And cook. And take care of the children. But not anymore. Today, women work. And clean. And cook. And take care of the children.
An infographic about how men and women manage their time — at home, at work and with their kids. It reviews the activities of mothers and fathers in 1965 and in 2011. Significant changes occurred and are still happening.
Mothers 1965 — Hours Spent Weekly on…
Mothers 2011 — Hours Spent Weekly on…
In the past, domestic tasks were associated with femininity, because of women’s vulnerability during pregnancy. There was the need to stay at home — childbearing and child-rearing require full devotion. Which is unfair nowadays, because parents have the option to sign-up their children in kindergarten, so both of them could work. And go on with other activities. Women are expected to be good at maintaining the household. Here’s a News Break — they are not born with this concept of cleanliness! They are taught! But parents neglect this practice when they raise boys.
What about men? Has anything changed there? It has actually. But about four generations have to pass before there is a visible and significant change. Generation Z (born 1995–2000) is about to come of age in 2013–2020. So the differences are yet to be seen. There was, and still is, a division of labour. Men were responsible for the outdoor activities, while women for the indoor activities. But this division of chores doesn’t result in equality. Sociology deals with this issue and it confirms it’s tendencies. Again — people aren’t born to hold a hammer or a broom. They are socialized to do it according to their gender. The problem sets in the fact the indoor activities are daily, while outdoor — like car repairs and odd jobs, are done once in several months. So we are in a desperate need of reforming these obsolete standards.
Women 2013 — Minutes Spent Daily on…
Men 2013 — Minutes Spent Daily on…
Gender Roles Swap
Here and now is the time when gender roles swap. With women working and still doing their share of housework, they expect men to do the same. It is a time-consuming process and not everyone adjusts as fast as we would like them to do. We have a lot more to learn and we should be patient. Everything goes down to the example the parents set. Some men just seem like they are children of apathy. They do only as much housework as their fathers. But it is a misconception to think men can’t be good at housework. Some lucky girls can confirm that. A father can be an anti-model. It happens when he is such a mess, the son doesn’t want to have anything in common with him. So he tries the opposite. And a good role-model is, of course, when their father helps his significant other however he can. It is all about making somebody else happy out of respect for them. So can men live up to the standards? Of course, but they are in a process of transformation. A research says that men now do more chores than ever. And almost half of the questioned women do less housework than their mothers.
Powerful Women and Their Lazy Partners
It is wide-known that female brains are designed for multitasking. It’s not like women are aliens or something, it’s just that they’re wired differently. Science! The result is women are very good at planning ahead. Men, on the other hand, can be really frustrated if they need to juggle multiple things. They are better at concentrating at one thing at a time. Which leads to very annoyed partners when it comes down to cleaning. Many women are quite fed up with playing a caretaker and babysitting adult men. Mothers raised their daughters with a trained eye towards mess. So the girls judge from their own experience. Why boys aren’t taking part in any domestic chores? Why are men so lazy? Doesn’t the mess bother them?
Well, most mothers never made their boys participate in cleaning. They weren’t taught how to do it so they can grow up to be really negligent at housework. To the point where wives think their husbands fail the tasks on purpose. If you’re sure that is the case, please, reconsider living with a person, who makes you feel bad intentionally! Almost all women are happy with the results after they finish the domestic tasks. More of them will gladly mow the lawn or clean the gutters, which previously was considered ‘man’s work’. A further research in the topic shows that some women, in fact, don’t want anyone to help them with cleaning up. Very little of them are truly relieved if their partner participates. One of the problems is that their man is slowing them down. And some of them even re-clean! It looks like women took control of the situation… But this can backfire badly. To overwhelm yourself isn’t the answer. You should be a little bit selfish and discipline your man. There is still hope, though, because more women want their partner to assist in other ways at home.
In Defence of Men
Men defending is not a popular topic really. But sexism can go both ways! Not all men deserve your fury. Some of them have the will to help, but they need a little push. Just show them how and proceed with patience. As previously stated, the minds of both genders work differently. When it comes to priorities, females equalise them, but males put them in a hierarchical order. Men can be constant and really good at one task at a time. Give them a couple of things and you can see them either overload or give up. And they tend to just jump into doing things, but rarely stop to plan. If you point out every little mistake he made, it will not help him, neither it will help you. Men are prone to get discouraged by their partner’s scolding. The statistics revealed, that after doing chores, very little of the men are proud of the final results. The majority looks up to their partner and how they manage the household. An interesting fact is that a lot of men love to cook. A survey showed that men would cook for their partner regularly. Voluntarily and happily! Who knows what they will be proud of being good at in the future. A simple talk with your husband/partner could settle it. Small steps towards the goal can make a big difference!
Fathers 1965 — Hours Spent Weekly on…
Fathers 2011 — Hours Spent Weekly on…
In Conclusion and Some Tips
It would be really easy to handle things at home if the two partners have similar cleanliness thresholds. Nobody’s perfect and if this is the one person, you should both work for it. The two important keywords here are teamwork and compromise! Some couples try the approach ‘clean-your-own-mess’. Which sounds somewhat fair, but works better with room-mates. You should not be dividing this way, you should work together. It is essential for a modern couple to be able to do things separately from one another. It’ll boost your confidence, plus, you’ll be more conscious of what your significant other does for you. Remember, there is no ‘right’ way to clean things. It should be the final result that’s important. No one is going to be as clean as an OCD person wants them to be.
Here are some tips for dealing with a stubborn partner:
- Gather up. Reason with him. Both parties want the dishes clean, right?
- Set basic rules. Every household has them. It’s better to be said out loud. What are your thresholds?
- Split the domestic tasks. Equally. Which ones are you willing to do and which ones do you really hate? If you both hate the same thing you can have turns doing it and just deal with it.
- From top to bottom. If your household is in a very bad condition you can do a big clean-up from top to bottom. Then just try to maintain a good level. If cleaning is not your thing at all you can have professionals help you occasionally.
- Invest in helping items. If you both don’t have the time and nerves you should consider them. It would be of great help to invest in things like dishwasher, vacuum cleaning robot and so on.
- Don’t let things pile up. Literally and figuratively. This could be learned and made into a habit. Clear up immediately after the mess is made.
- Do not call him names. Last, but not least. Maybe he throws you in incoherent rage and you can’t believe he doesn’t see the mess. But to be called names can worsen things. You wouldn’t like that either, right?
Remember they’re not necessary chores. You can have fun time doing them together. Make the best of living together. Play some music and go go go! You’ll be finished in no-time.