Going to Bed Mad

I cannot blame you

For walking away

10 seconds before

I was going to

Tell you to leave.

I scramble internally

when we argue

Because I’m attempting

To gather

The tiny pebbles of

Dignity

That I am keeping

From you.

I really do want to give you

Everything, though.

But it’s in times like these

I am secretly glad

That I have trust issues.

Because in my mind

The most frightening

Thing that could happen

Is that one day you will

Leave me for good

With absolutely nothing.

Whenever I’m

Haunted by the

Image of my mother with

Empty arms,

I renew the vow

That this would never,

Ever, be me.

Yet, here we are

10 seconds before

I was about to

Tell you to leave…

Can’t really say that I blame you.

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