Refined

“ Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.”

[ Proverbs 19:21 ]

In 7 days, I will turn the page. I’ll celebrate my 23 birthday. This year has been a challenging year. A year of refinement at most. A year, that I learned perhaps.. my plans pale in comparison to that of the one who has created me. The year I found at it’s core JOY is not circumstantial. The year, that through stumbling and falling flat on my face more than once i found, joy is worth the fight. And, perhaps through a series of ungraceful falls we find another beautiful side of Grace we had not yet seen.

As I grow older I begin to believe each year of life that we are granted has a theme of it’s own. This year, if I could chose a word to define it.. I’d say the word to define this year of life would be: Refined.

I began the year with these plans, I had constructed. These wonderful plans but as life played out, NOTHING panned out the way I expected it to and other things would crumble on top of it. It was challenging and I am certain I failed, I did not execute life in the most graceful manor this year.

As I reach the final 7 pages of this chapter this precious year I was granted of life, I ask myself would I trade it in for a better chain of events if I could? The answer would be, No.

In the span of the year, I asked Christ over and over again this line from a favorite song of mine, as a prayer to see it all in a better light:

“ Make my messes matter, make this chaos count.”

At various points, I did not see the value of this mess. As, I near the end and close this chapter. I see it now! The words in this song were brought to life. The chaos counted, It counted tremendously. I am certain 20 years down the road this season of life I have endured will be somewhat of a monumental step in and of itself.

I have been refined.

The direction,

I thought I had been lacking all year.

Granted to me through the chaos.

The sweet,

necessary chaos.

As I sit in my rocking chair telling my grand kids about 22,

I will tell them,

though it was hard I learned to dance with uncertainty.

I will tell them,

every second of it,

even the seconds I am not proud of,

were worth it.

So worth it,

and necessary..

Making me into that person, Christ has called me to be.

Not who I thought I’d be,

But who Christ has called me to be.

Glory to him in the highest.

His purpose prevails.

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