To Chester
I was 13 when I listened to Linkin Park for the first time. I didn’t have internet back then but I somehow managed to smuggle Numb with the help of a floppy disk. This is still a very vivid memory because Numb was one of the first rock songs I came across before I completely embraced the genre as an important part of my life.
Numb wasn’t like any other rock song I had heard though. There was something more to Chester’s voice — it somehow resonated deep within the unknown corners of my teenage psyche. But I was only 13 — I didn’t know enough to express this enlightening experience in words. I soon started listening to Numb everyday before going to bed because I felt that song would help me sleep and get through those painful high school days.
Every time that intro kicked in, I prepared myself for the high intensity chaos that was going to ensue. English wasn’t my first language so I didn’t properly understand the lyrics back then. I didn’t understand how Numb was about a person in a troubled relationship who’s getting tired of being with a control freak. But the theme of the whole song resembled conflict and that was the reason why that song became the soundtrack of my early high school days.
High school was all about conflict — it was about us trying to fit in and still be different in our own ways. This song resembled that conflict accurately. We had family, teachers, friends, crushes who had expectations from us but we still weren’t sure if we were who they expected us to be. And we had this lingering fear of losing people if we didn’t live up to their expectations. This insecure and fearful state of mind made it easier for us to relate to Chester’s pain, which led us to form a different level of connection with his songs.
It was his intense pain and suffering that made his songs so special. The brightest piece of art usually comes from the darkest corners of human psyche. This is a message for all of us out who struggle with keeping our emotions in check. We have to learn how to properly embrace our emotions so we can use them to create something beautiful just like Chester did. It’s those emotions that ultimately make us human. By running away from those repressed feelings, we only slip further into that downward spiral of depression.
Back then as teenage boys we were bullied for being too emotional or too scared. But Chester showed us that it was okay to publicly sing about your fear and insecurities. Not just sing — SCREAM OUT YOUR INSECURITIES AS LOUDLY AS YOU CAN. And people loved him for doing that — millions of fans around the world went crazy over Chester’s lamentations.
Chester helped a lot of kids in my generation get through some tough times. This makes me wonder if we, as his biggest fans, failed to tell him how much he mattered to us. His songs were my comfort from all the high school frustration caused due to bullies and unrequited crushes.
Thank you Chester for helping me get through one of the most difficult phases of my life. I wish someone helped you get through yours.

