Thank you for sharing this Shannon. Like all of your writings, I was very attentive and immersed in the details but this one struck a few interesting chords with me, if I may share:
When your daughter said the baby was cute “even though it’s a Black baby” and she “doesn’t really like Black skin,” it sucked, but it wasn’t surprising. The reason being is that I believe prejudice is inherent, whereas racism is learned.
We’re hardwired by nature to recognize differences, and among ourselves as humans, skin is the easiest one we can to distinguish once we’re cognitively able to do so. Some of those differences are appealing and others aren’t — from what your daughter told you, Black skin isn’t visually appealing to her.
In kindergarten and grade school, I was one of a few Black kids at an majority-White private academy. I think of all the times I was other-ized without having racial remarks thrown at me (until they were learned); I’ve been told from childhood into adulthood things like, “You’re cute for a Black guy” and “If you weren’t Black I’d totally date you” — those are learned social and cultural norms beyond natural prejudice.
What also got my attention was her saying, “I’m trying not to be like that,” which sounds like she’s struggling with her nature of not liking Black skin, but not being a racist.
She’s still a child and has a good idea of what racism is (thanks largely in part to you educating her), so it’ll be interesting to see how her perceptions and beliefs develop as she grows based on environmental factors and experiences.
