Why Feminism is Important to me as an Indian Man

In the world we live in today, there are increasingly large numbers of people and their pet rocks who get offended by something. Anything someone does, anything someone says, anything someone thinks, have become trigger points that offend someone else.

Our lives have been turned into a real life manifestation of the YouTube comment section where having an opinion is grounds for pitchforks and slander. Through all of this, even the once noble concept of chivalry has also found itself in a perplexing new struggle for clarity.

My family is very liberal when it comes to Indian culture and values with respect to women. We don’t have the traditional mindset where we believe women are inferior to men and bearing a child and maintaining a household is solely what destiny has in store for them. I’ve grown up comfortable with the fact a woman might make more than I do or succeed in something I wasn’t able to.

You can also read that as “my parents always taught me to respect women as much as men.”

I have an immense amount of respect for many women in my life. Some have come from extremely male-dominated families who only expected them to marry a good husband, support his family, and be a good biwi. But they were adamant; they would do what they wanted to do, wouldn’t meander or conform to the ladka’s family, and would succeed in such a way other families would seek her out instead. And they did it.

But one day, I was having a discussion with some people about one’s will to succeed, how dedication and hard work gets you places, and I referenced my friend.

“She doesn’t need your blessing about her hard work. She did that work because she wanted to, and doesn’t need to you validate or patronize her.”

How could I complimenting and being in awe of my friend’s success and refusal to pander to the whims of the oppressive side of Indian culture, be a patronizing act? I stated I wasn’t trying to “validate” her; on the contrary, I had a huge amount of respect for her strength. Unfortunately, the opposing party maintained their point of view I was being a patronizing male who felt she needed my approval.

I would soon encounter more situations like this.

“Chivalry is dead.”

That statement itself has a variety of connotations in today’s world. Is it dead because men don’t hold doors for women? Is it because men don’t offer to pay for women at dinner? Or is it because men don’t respect women? Let me grant you a beacon onto my confusion.

I’ve faced two completely contradictory reactions to me holding the door open for a woman before.

“Thank you so much, you’re a true gentleman!”

And.

“I’m perfectly capable of holding doors myself thank you very much.”

*Opposing LADY used CONFUSION! SIDDARTH is confused! It hurt itself in its confusion!*

Growing up, I was always told to hold doors open for others because it was meant to be a gracious gesture and because it was the right thing to do.

“If a woman is walking behind you, open the door for her, it’s the gentlemanly thing to do.”

I never questioned this logic. But in light of recent outcry over sexism and how any act can be misconstrued into a sexist gesture, I regrettably started to question this.

[Read More: Prime Minister Trudeau’s Thoughts on Feminism Will Make You Want to Move to Canada]

To read on visit: http://www.browngirlmagazine.com/2016/08/feminism-important-indian-man/