I gave myself a pink slip — step 1 to calling a life “do over”

I had to walk away from my corporate job — it was literally killing me. I know I’m not alone in the way I felt, or the way I still feel about the world of work today. I held a job managing a regional function of a Fortune 500 company. It was a job that some would aspire to and covet, yet most of my peers in the same role had come to harbor a growing disdain of the job and the way it was morphing into a thankless, daily dose of despair. Even some of my supporting staff had become disillusioned with the company, its leadership, and the roles we held. The simple fact was that we no longer believed in what the company was doing or how they chose to operate. There had been a clear shift in principle over the past several years, and some of it was no longer an ethical fit. I had begun questioning not just the job and the company, but also the way I was living — which had become more an existence than actually “living”. I finally realized I’d reached my burnout point, and it wasn’t the type of thing that a couple weeks off in an exotic locale could fix. The fact that I was unhappy in my job was the obvious part, it took a little more introspection to admit (mainly to myself) I felt like I was living my life from the passenger’s seat.

Do you feel trapped? Trapped in your job? Trapped by your mortgage? Trapped in your particular “situation”? I’ll admit it — I did. See if some of these attributes sound familiar:

Are the only avenues for opportunity “out” and not “up”?

Do you work 50–80 hours a week and it’s still not “enough” for the company or everything your job description has metastasized into?

Do you feel stressed out, exhausted, irritable and have trouble sleeping before you even make it halfway through the week? Maybe it begins on Sunday nights?

Are you appreciative that your job provides a solid income, but the cost and sacrifice is that you’ve become a conscious zombie? Or have you become ruled by your possessions and your schedule?

Are you giving your best self, energies and time to your thankless, soul-sucking job or just trying to keep up with a lifestyle that you thought you wanted but is actually unfulfilling?

These are just a couple examples of the recurring questions and feelings I was dealing with on a daily basis. I’d reached a point where everything felt like obligation, and I didn’t even have kids. I really have sympathy for those in a similar situation that are also raising a family. I was feeling ruled by just my job situation and house/yard/pool maintenance. I’d fallen out of touch with some of my friends and felt like I’d even sacrificed part of my character and personality to my corporate persona. Although, it was my wife’s urging that finally spurred me to commit to a decision and taking a course of action. Actually, it was more like this: she told me if I wasn’t willing to actively do something about changing my life, then I could no longer complain about it.

It’s ok to say you’ve had enough

I’d been with this particular company working in roughly the same capacity for over 15 years. I had certainly had enough. Enough of the middle of the night phone calls, facility issues, employee issues, union issues, corporate minutiae — the list goes on and is a story suited for another time, along with a 12-pack. For me, the disadvantages had begun to outweigh the benefits and my personal view on work is this: since your job/work is going to occupy the majority of your waking hours, it should at least be something that even on a bad day, you still look forward to doing it the next day. My problem was I’d been miserable in this job for several years and was basically too fearful and practical to do anything about it other than apply to other jobs that “seemed” like a good fit but never fully panned out. It was basically easier to go on being a martyr than taking a leap and making a change (sidenote: Mom, I love you and you have a great work ethic, but I learned the bad habit of being a martyr for my job from you).

It was time to change my paradigm, on several levels. Here’s a link my wife sent me awhile back written by Ashley Hacksaw, there were definitely a few things in it that resonated with me: http://www.lilblueboo.com/2014/08/why-i-told-my-husband-he-could-walk-away.html

Now, I’m not going to blow smoke and fairy dust and say things like “simply follow your dreams”, or “just pursue your passion” — mainly because I have no idea what I truly want to do and I’d just sound like a complete hypocrite. I actually commend those people that truly have found their passion or calling in life, in fact I’m a bit jealous of those people. I’ve read countless blogs, articles and books and tried multiple different exercises to find what I’m “passionate” about and must pursue as a career and so far I’ve come up with nothing. I think the closest I’ve come to figuring anything out was a post I read by Mark Manson a few months ago: http://markmanson.net/passion. This may sound corny, but I’ve also started to wonder that the Millennials’ view and challenge of the status quo on how we define “work” may actually be the right path, or at least a good start.

So, how does it play out? Well, like most plans, it started out with a few drinks. My wife and I picked a target date whereby I’d resign from my job, we sold our 4-bedroom house and (painfully) downsized our lives to fit in a travel trailer with our 2 dogs. Scaling back our standard of living would allow us the flexibility and resources to explore some different paths in different places. So currently, home is wherever we’re parked and I’m slowly unwinding from my previous career and work incarnations. I’ve started working on some small writing projects and retooling my skillset with things I’ve been threatening to learn/do/try for years now. Having come from a finance background, I’m learning how to get back in touch with the creative parts of my mind.

I figure I already know what I can do, now I owe it to myself to explore what I’m capable of doing.