Love is not remotely earned in my experience. And if you have to earn it, I don’t think we’re talking about love. Love happens. Call it hormones and pheromones, call it chemistry, call it Cupid or Eros or Aphrodite as you will, but it just kinda happens.
It’s these kind of things that drive me to paganism, to Thelema, to renaissance faires, to therapy, to mummery, to music, to activism, to anything that smacks of times and spaces where people understand themselves and that which holds us back can go and be damned and that which draws us together can shine.