the Floom Conspiracy
“Laughter is the best Money.”
This came out of my networked office printer earlier today, and none of my co-workers had printed it. Nobody was able to offer a satisfactory explanation of whose it was or where it had come from. I put it here in case someone knows anything about these people or what the hell the author(s) are talking about .
Money is a joke. Now jokes are money.
The time is ripe for another joke at the expense of money. There is lots of money about, so one would think they could afford a joke or two.
Floom is a concept whose time has come. Floom can fit seamlessly into your life the way no other currency can — no need for cumbersome exchange rates, interest, funny bits of paper, extragovernmental agencies, precious metals, banks, corporations, ransom demands on your property or labor, or taxation.
One Floom is equal in value to a good joke. Something uproariously hilarious may be worth multiple Floomi, and groaners and puns are reserved for small change. The only wallet needed to contain your Floom is your brain, though journals can help. If you really wanted to print up Floom currency or stamp Floom coinage, or even make swipeable Floom cards, more power to you, but these are totally unnecessary for this most literary medium of exchange.
In the Floom economy, the main creators of wealth and value are not companies, banks, or governments but parties, social evenings, holidays, brunches, and any get-together where copious laughs are to be had. After such an evening, if all has gone well, people leave happy and flush with Floom!
There is no way to counterfeit or debase Floom. Neither can interest be collected or taxes levied in Floom. Wages, Rent, and other exploitative fictions cannot be exacted or paid in Floom. No bullying or abuse of any kind, no matter how many laughs it creates, counts as Floom. These regulations come from the supremely just Floom Authority, and may freely be questioned, but are not to be flouted. Any attempt to do so will be met with Disdain and High Grumpiness.
As a guideline to its value in the real world, stop and ask yourself — what is laughter worth in my life? How dull would your life be without jokes? How well would you be able to face the evening news, the daily grind, the ever-more-deadly so-called “reality” we face without laughter? Do you know how beneficial laughter is to good health and wellness? How laughter kills stress and releases much-needed neurotransmitters in the brain? Are you aware how easy it is to find common cause, friendship, and even love through laughter?
Buy everything you can with Floom. How do you know if you can buy something with Floom? Ask. More and more retailers are opening themselves up to this currency. Some will not put all their inventory on the Floom market but may be open to it for items they are having a hard time selling for Federal Reserve Notes. It will not be long before you will be able to pay back medical bills and student loans with Floom.
The Floom economy is a conspiracy, run by the brightest minds on the planet, and powered by people like you. Simply by reading this document, We consider you initiated into the first Degree of this conspiracy. Even if you stop at the end of this sentence, and try never to think of Floom again, you are now and forever One Of Us — no matter what They may tell you! The Floom conspiracy is the best hope for humanity against the tyrannies of usury, taxes, rent, debt, and wages. This is why you will not hear about it on the radio, the television, or official channels of the Internet. They are trying to cover their asses, and running afoul of the environment in one quarter, workers’ movements there, and awakening souls everywhere. They crush any credible threat and laugh at the rest! Woe unto them! Everyone who laughs at us only makes us richer! We are gaining ground daily and we will not stop until everything good in the world is as common as laughter.