Life of a 24 Year Old

They say starting something is the hardest thing to do, and once you’ve started, things aren’t so bad. Before I started the job I’m currently in, life was difficult for me; depression, anxiety, existentialist crisis’ daily. I thought that by getting a different job maybe those issues would slowly melt away and I’d be able to deal with life better. However, a week into the job I found myself feeling even worse. Worse most likely because I put too much pressure on myself thinking I should be cured of all my problems by now just because I had a new job.

Having a job is different for everyone. I am grateful to have work and to make money (however little it may be), and because I’m not at the old job. The job I had before this one sucked the life right out of me, and assisted in the issues I am plagued with today. 36 hours in two days, getting scolded when you leave to sleep, having panic attacks like it was a past time isn’t really anyones idea of a good work environment I don’t think. When I think of it that way, the new job is not so bad.

But I don’t just want a life that is ‘not so bad’. I want a life that I love, I want to do something that makes me happy, actually happy. I feel like I see people pass me by all the time in doing things that they love, going beautiful places, meeting good people. Just living full and happy lives.

Maybe that’s how I treat this job for right now, that’s all it is, just for right now. There’s nothing that says you have to stay at some job forever. Just because you are somewhere you don’t want to be right now doesn’t mean you will be there forever. That saying ‘nothing lasts forever’ is such a beautiful notion that I hold onto dearly. These bad things will not last forever; bad feelings, bad situations, bad lives. You can move on and get better, it can happen. You just have to push yourself to believe that, and believe in yourself that you can make a life you are happy with.

I believe so dearly in that and I hope everyone reading this does too.