Past lives- fact or fiction?

Disclaimer: I am in no way stating that anything I write in this piece is based on anything of merit; it is pure speculation and opinion, just musings. I’ve always been curious about this and if this offends you in any way, well, sorry, but I’m not sorry. You’ve been forewarned.

Do you ever wonder where your irrational or even rational fears come from? Why are you terrified of a certain sound or why do you experience deja vu? Why do we feel so connected to some people, like we’ve met them before or feel like we’ve known them our whole lives but we’ve only just been introduced? Most logical people will try to explain it away, using an excuse such as good old coincidence.

I’m of a different belief system. I’d like to think that what we experience in this life is due to an imprint based on a previous life, or even several previous lives. We’re all learning lessons in these lives so that we can lead a better life each time we return. Maybe I’m romanticizing this a bit, but hey, I am a writer.

I do believe in people with psychic gifts. I also believe there are people who are frauds. You just have to know how to weed out the genuinely gifted. Some of these psychics or mediums can help us connect to our previous lives. Strangely enough, my sister and I saw one for kicks and giggles, who told her that she was a male warrior in a past life. Her Sensei (who is also gifted and told her they have known each other over centuries) was her commander. I can definitely believe this. I won’t divulge much about my sister to respect her privacy, but I can see aspects of her personality that would fit this to a T. The fact that the psychic knew that and the fact that she and her Sensei have been connected over centuries is an extra bonus. The psychic also said that my sister is an old soul, very wise. It is true. That kid is freakishly smart. I don’t know how she retains the information that she does.

I wish I could have tapped into my previous life/ lives. I have an inkling of what I may have been. I could be totally off base. One day it would be really cool to find out. My thought is that I may have been an army nurse killed in the line of duty. Here’s my reasoning: I was TERRIFIED of hospitals at a young age. I wanted nothing to do with medical equipment, doctors, or the like. Over time, my fear dissipated and I eventually gained a genuine curiosity of medicine. I worked in a hospital for a time and became extremely interested in the academic side of medicine. I was…and still am extremely squeamish. I can’t look at my own blood being drawn without gagging. Getting past that part of it, every time I hear an air raid siren, my gut instinct is to drop to the floor and cover my head. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Everyone thinks that. But I get a crippling fear inside of me, one that can induce a panic attack if I’m not careful. Even before I knew what that sound meant as a child, my instinct was to drop to the floor. Not to look around for the threat, but just to drop and cover. Again, it’s all speculation and I could just be fantasizing.

What’s even more interesting to think about are the people who follow us through our lives. Do our soulmates travel with us? Are there such things as kindred spirits? My mom always said my grandmother and I were kindred spirits. She always had a connection with me that I miss to this very day. I regret that I lost her so young and couldn’t explore our relationship more. I couldn’t get to really know her now that I’m an adult, and she can’t see me now (or, maybe she can).

In a previous entry, I wrote in honor of my soulmate. I don’t use that term loosely, and I truly believe I have mine. Some people, I don’t think are as lucky, and that’s unfortunate. I honestly feel I’ve known mine forever. The first time I saw him, I knew him. I’ve never been nervous around him. We know each other completely and trust each other wholly. He knows what I’m thinking. We can complete each other’s sentences. We know how to make the other laugh, and laugh together constantly. We can be in complete silence together and just be content. Truly, my other half. There’s a quote from a movie “Only You.” It’s in the beginning where the character Faith is teaching a class about Greek mythology and I feel it’s pretty fitting.

“Plato tells us we began as circles, and when we strived to be like the gods we were punished, by a thunderbolt that struck us, and cut us, right down, dead center, in half. We scattered to the ends of the Earth, searching and searching for our other half. Now, Plato is saying, that if we just stop, and go with the flow, and follow our destiny, It’ll lead us back to each other.”- Faith (Marisa Tomei), Only You, 1992