My Weight Struggle & Being Healthy and Active in 2016

I have an unhealthy relationship with food. Always have. Always will. Both my mom and dad put in a lot of effort to get me to eat well and exercise when I was a kid. And they were successful — for a while. But after elementary school, I ate most of my meals and snacks away from home and I didn’t make good choices. One dark time came in the 8th grade when, on a platform of making middle school great again, I was elected president of the student body. As one of my first official acts, I launched a bold initiative to expand the student council’s snack stand. The plan worked, expanding the council’s coffers, and my waistline.

It got so bad that every gym period was a nightmare. I prayed I wouldn’t be picked to play “skins” for soccer or basketball just so I could avoid taking my shirt off in public. Once, a teacher actually pulled me aside and told me I needed to do something about my weight. It was humiliating and I resolved to do something before the start of high school.

Throughout that summer, I haphazardly ran, lifted weights, and followed all manner of fad diets. I had no clue what I was doing and didn’t seek out help. While I lost about 10 to 15 lbs, by the time I was back in school, bad habits kicked back in and I started packing back on the weight.

Regaining weight is common after dieting. It’s not just you or me. Researchers at King’s College London and the London School of Economics, reviewing the medical records of nearly two hundred thousand obese men and women over the age of 20, found that “the annual probability of attaining normal weight was 1 in 210 for men and 1 in 124 for women, increasing to 1 in 1290 for men and 1 in 677 for women with morbid obesity.” The study concludes that “[t]he probability of attaining normal weight or maintaining weight loss is low.” It’s heartbreaking to consider how the odds (and data) are stacked against so many people (myself included). It’s also annoying to think of all the companies and celebrities peddling overly optimistic notions of how easy it is to achieve weight loss.

We do know that sustainable weight loss is not impossible. Public and community health researchers are expanding our knowledge of the science and psychology behind sustainable weight loss. Here’s one example. In 2005, Rena R. Wing and Suzanne Phelan published a study that found among those that “are successful at long-term weight loss when defined as losing at least 10% of initial body weight and maintaining the loss for at least 1 [year,]” patterns of behavior for enduring weight loss emerge.

Working with the National Weight Control Registry, a database of 4,000 adults who lost at least 30 lbs and kept it off for a year, Wing and Phelan discovered there are “six key strategies for longterm success at weight loss: 1) engaging in high levels of physical activity; 2) eating a diet that is low in calories and fat; 3) eating breakfast; 4) self-monitoring weight on a regular basis; 5) maintaining a consistent eating pattern; and 6) catching “slips” before they turn into larger regains. Initiating weight loss after a medical event may also help facilitate long-term weight control.”

So there’s hope but no doubt that it’s an uphill battle.

By my high school graduation, I weighed 170 lbs with a Body-Mass Index of 29.2. Less than a decade later, I ballooned to 215 lbs. During college and law school, I achieve some sporadic success with my weight but the fatigue of denying myself entire categories of food or fumbling around alone in a gym would become too much and I’d always backslide.

By this point, I had all but given up on the idea of ever being healthy. I looked in the mirror so many times and hated what I saw. I knew that a range of factors contribute to obesity (Tara Parker-Pope’s wrote an excellent New York Times Magazine article on this fact). Our environment, genetics, food industry business practices, and mental health all play roles in unhealthy eating. But when it’s just you and the scale, it feels like there is no one to blame but yourself.

During my year worked for a law firm, things got even worse. I gorged on junk food and soda as a reward for working late. I told myself I was too “busy” to hit the gym. For a while, beyond low self-esteem, I avoided any major medical repercussions. But my body was a ticking time bomb and it was ready to explode. I begin experiencing constant fatigue, sluggishness, and numbness in both my arms. A check up confirmed that my blood pressure and cholesterol had reached catastrophic levels. I was well on my way to diabetes — or worse. Many men in my family have suffered from heart disease, diabetes, hypertension, and high cholesterol. Eventually it would be my turn.

The window to save myself was closing.

My departure from BigLaw offered an opportunity (perhaps my last) to reboot my professional and personal lives and transform my relationships with food and physical activity.

I needed help or I’d be doomed to repeat the past. I’d have to invest meaningful time and money into the effort. And I’d have to reorient my daily life to put my health first. Going on a diet wouldn’t be enough. I needed a new and sustainable lifestyle.

So I went to work.

I started by eliminate barriers that have tripped me up in the past. I joined Balance Gym Thomas Circle, blocks my office and my apartment, so I could never have an excuse to go to the gym. I knew joining Balance wouldn’t be enough. So, I took the leap and secured the expertise of a personal trainer, my boy Rob.

Rob became a true partner from day one. He helped me think through why my prior fitness efforts failed and how to plan for success this time. We spent sessions training in the main weight room to build confidence in my ability to lift safely and productively on my own. Rob also encouraged me to take advantage of Balance’s group spin, core, and conditioning classes. Slowly, my sessions with Rob and these group classes became the nucleus of a fitness habit that continues to this day. Rob was a constant source of support during these early days and I’m blessed to have him as a friend.

After a year with Rob, I transitioned to Crossfit. Getting through a CF WOD (workout of the day) is almost always the hardest thing I do that day. It’s punishing but so rewarding. A future essay will dive into my Crossfit experience. For now, I’ll just say thank you to coaches and friends like Chris Clyde, Danielle, Ahmed, Craig, Rob Howe, Megan, Lars, Mike, Nick, Mark and Onan, and many others who keep me coming back for more. I’m grateful to them. Around the same time I started Crossfit, I also competed my first GORUCK competition, something I never would have dreamed of doing before (more about GORUCK in a minute).

Despite all of progress I made being more active, I understood that tackling the food side of the equation was vastly more important than anything I did in the gym. So I also focused on what I fueled my body with.

Thanks to Danny Lamas, I read The Four Hour Chef by Tim Ferriss, books and articles by Michael Pollen (his best advice? — “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants”), and research studies on health and sustainable weight loss and eating. Armed with this information, I started weighing myself regularly and using tracking tools to quantify my physical activity so I can get ahead of any backslides. I also started tracking the foods I eat so I can be more aware of the nutritional value and impact of what I eat. It’s a horrifying experience that forces you to learn just how much fat, sugar, and salt is added to many popular (and usually packaged foods). Vegetables, legumes, and lean animal proteins make up most of my diet now. Juice and soda have been relegated to the dust bins of food history.

Now don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy candy, rice, bread, and pastries because total deprivation from foods you enjoy is a recipe for disaster. I’m not afraid to throw out my food rule book on special occasions or when I’m on vacation. That’s why I still indulge in dishes I love, like ramen. They are treats, however, and not something I have every night.

Today, 18 months into this journey, I weigh around 155 lbs and have a clean bill of health.