Dear Stuart,

You must be a comedian. In fact, I am willing to wager that you are a paid comedian, with Comedy Central banging at your door incessantly for more of your humorous quips. I am sure that you consider yourself witty, sharp and acerbic.

Your intelligent and well-thought out quote on Orisirisi’s eloquently written post is proof of the fact that we have among us, an unequivocal genius….YOU! I mean…completely sidelining the content and spirit of the entire post and remarking on the ‘yellow’ skin of the woman is just…wow, I lack words at your vivid imagination! And to ask if she has been hired by ‘The Simpsons’? I and the entire Medium community are rolling in laughter. Ha hah (I believe there is a Simpson’s character with that specific kind of laugh. Seeing as you are an expert at cartoon characters AND humour, I am sure you ‘get it’). Rib cracking, tear inspiring laughter.

I mean…to come at a woman of colour, writing about being a black woman, and then to comment about her skin is something so original, so thoughtful, so smart.

Oh and I see that you apparently believe you are ‘old enough to know better’. That’s deep, bro. Really deep. We really must put that way up with quotes from notable philosophers like Plato, Socrates and the like.

Here’s the thing: that was a stupid comment. It really was. And you really do ‘need to care’ about not being silly on Medium, and you really have to ‘get over’ yourself.

Oh, and don’t ever come after my sister again, bruh. She is a brilliant writer and a sweet, well mannered lady who will respond to you nicely. I’m not that nice, though.

So…glad we had this chat. Now run along and go troll somewhere else.