Remembering Who You Used To Be

It’s so easy to lose yourself. In technology. In other people. In the latest pop culture craze. In a job. In things you think you want. In things other people want. In things society tells you that you should want.

And while we’re busy juggling all of these things, we change.

We forget who we were. We forget what we actually wanted. We forget what we believed in. We forget what made us happy. We forget what made us feel alive.

Maybe this was no accident. Maybe we wanted to forget who we used to be. Our past is often filled with painful episodes, things we’ve tried to forget. But try as we might to forget, the painful things from our past still influence our present and our future. As agonizing as it might be to recall who we were, it’s played a huge part in who we are today.

Sometimes, just a few years in the past can feel like a different life.

The things we did on a daily basis, the things that occupied our thoughts, and the things we cared about might be completely different today. A few years ago can feel like a different reality altogether.

Life changes quickly, and it’s astonishing how decades of growing into yourself can be undone in a matter of a few years when you’re placed in a different situation.

But perhaps the more astonishing thing is that we rarely notice how much we’ve changed. We rarely notice that we’ve forgotten who we used to be and that we’ve morphed into a completely different person. It can reach a point where who we used to be seems like an idealistic figment of our imagination.

Often times, things change so quickly and we’re so focused on the here and now that we forget we once had a choice. But more often than not, becoming a different person isn’t a conscious choice; it’s something that just happens. As the days become weeks, the weeks become months, and the months become years, we slowly give pieces of ourselves away. Until there’s nothing left.

Perhaps the most difficult part of life’s journey is to remember who you were when you started.

Who you were before things changed. Who you were before you made compromises. Who you were before life revolved around a bank account. Who you were before you bought a house and started a family. Who you were before you had to make sacrifices. Who you were before things got so busy. Before everything was classified as ‘urgent’. Before you felt like the walls were closing in. Before you resigned yourself to a safe and comfortable life that’s largely stripped of passion and excitement.

Remembering who you used to be might be the most difficult part of the journey but it’s also the most important.

Maybe the memory of who you were serves as a reminder of how far you’ve come and how much you’ve accomplished. Maybe the memory of who you were leads to the grim realization of how far you’ve strayed from your ideals and aspirations.

Either way, it’s an invaluable perspective to gain.

No matter how much we’ve changed along the way, the things we truly believed in and were passionate about are undoubtedly still burning somewhere underneath the surface of who we are today. Which is why tapping into who you used to be is so important.

Regardless of how you feel about who you were, there’s value in remembering. It can either motivate you to keep going down the path you’ve started on or it can show you that it’s time for a change.

Remembering who you were can be painful. It’s something that can cause you to question everything about who you are right now. Your motivations. Your desires. Your thoughts. Your goals. All of these things are suddenly being looked at through the lens of who you used to be.

And through that lens, the present can seem amazing and fulfilling. Or it can seem meaningless and disappointing.

Remembering who you used to be can be a frightening experience, but the only thing more frightening is not remembering who you used to be.