Craig Fletcher
Aug 31, 2018 · 3 min read

The Many Facets Of Fletcher

▪I am somewhat OCD.

▪I like Campbell’s Chicken and Noodle Soup, but I don’t eat the chicken.

▪Every single night, when I fix the auto coffee pot, I ALWAYS lay out one paper towel, with the sugar and creamer bowls, and one cup with a teaspoon in it, all on top of the single paper towel.

▪ I am perturbed to no end when someone sits in my spot in the living room.

▪Speaking of my spot, my heated throw better be folded over the back of my recliner, waiting to be needed.

▪My towel HAS to be folded. Even if it’s fresh out the dryer and I’m going to the shower with it in my hand. I’ll STILL fold it up.

▪My bed HAS to be made. Nothing feels grungier than crawling into a messed up bed at the end of the day.

▪I cannot tolerate silly phone calls for the sole purpose of visiting. You better have a damn good reason to call. Otherwise text me.

▪I would rather be online than on the town.

▪Don’t talk sense to me before I drink my first cup of coffee in the morning. The caffeine dependant are not to be trifled with.

▪Stupidity makes me laugh. It makes me sad too. But, mostly it just makes me laugh.

▪I HATE math. Oh adding, subtracting, multiplying, and dividing are all ok I guess. But the asshole that mixed letters and numbers together can go to hell. Letters are for spelling.

▪I DO believe in God. Though I have a multitude of problems with a lot of things in the Bible and find that it is rife with all manner of atrocities, many of which are diety approved. I find it hard to put any rational countenance in a book written by a tribe of nomadic goat herders who didn’t understand where the sun went at night.

▪Though I could legitimately sit on my ass at the house and draw a check for my eyesight disability, I prefer to work. I’ve always worked.

▪I do not like clothes. I find them to be an uncomfortable and unnecessary annoyance and tolerate them only because modern social norms are grounded in ancient Puritanical ignorance. I consider them to be an unfortunate necessary evil in winter.

▪ While we’re on the subject of winter, I HATE the cold.

▪I used to be very shy and reserved when I was growing up.

▪If you’re going to post on a public forum such as Facebook, please have a rudimentary understanding of spelling and basic punctuation. Otherwise you are subject to, and deserving of, whatever ridicule you may incur.

▪With the possible exception of Andrew Jackson, I believe the clown residing in the white house is, without a doubt, the most unpresidential human being, and I use that term VERY lightly, to ever sully the halls of that dignified structure.

▪I like to write, though I don’t write all the time. Sometimes it feels forced and doesn’t flow and that makes me sad. I would love to write for a living.

Craig Fletcher

Written by

Louisiana immigrant and current resident of Mississippi who now enjoys the country life. Husband, dad, historian, southern philosopher, and fledgling writer.

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