Rest in peace, the King of Tempo Changes
Trigger warning for childhood s*xual assault.
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The echoing ripples of childhood abuse never cease to amaze me.
Meat Loaf is/was one of my abuser’s favorite artists. Any song on “Bat Out of Hell” — especially “You Took the Words Right Out of My Mouth” — takes me back to being ten years old and dancing like a tiny maniac in his woodshop in the summer. I loved the smell of the wood shavings and the loud stereo. I loved dancing, and I loved the orchestral sounds of Meat Loaf and REO Speedwagon. I loved the lyrics that were obviously naughty but that I didn’t fully understand.
“On a hot summer night, will you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?”
After the abuse, for years, I couldn’t listen to Meat Loaf songs without freezing in fear, denial, and shame. Were they part of my grooming? Did it matter, if I couldn’t hear them without thinking of him? With lots of therapy, I was able to separate those memories from their involuntary freeze response. After 20 years or so, as an adult, I came around to enjoying the songs if they came on the radio. Now at 34, there are many more days where I feel safe and whole, than days where I feel scared and broken. The land…
