Heal Your Financial Shame — 5 (Quick!) Steps to Turn Your Finances Around Right Now!
It only takes 10 minutes to start your healing path to success!
Disclaimer: I’m not an accountant, a lawyer, a medical professional or an omnipotent being. Please take all advice with discretion and the proper grains of salt for your situation!
Are you drowning in financial shame?
I totally am.
Struggling in extreme poverty since my 14th year. Literally living on ramen, spinach and orange juice in jr. college. A terrible divorce that my ex-husband planned out so that he got off scot-free with no debt & a great credit score.
After getting laid off, multiple close family deaths and a summer of illness, I am worse off in the financial sense than I have ever been.
Which is saying a lot. Just trust me.
You’re probably wondering why I’m the right person to talk to you about money.
Money shame is what has kept me uneducated, fear stricken and trapped in this “go to college, get a job, work 15 hour days until you die. Money shame is what ruined my health. Money shame destroyed my relationships.
I may be down but I ain’t staying down.
Even if you made a ton of money, it wouldn’t solve the fundamental problems that cause Luke, your friendly neighborhood Jackpot winner to waste the fortune of a lifetime.
This will hurt. I can’t sugar coat it. What I can promise? That there is life on the other side of this pain. I know! I feel you! But it’s time to slay this dragon. (Not me. I’m a good one.)
Ready? Let’s dive in! You got this!
Step #1: Face the Reality.
Go login to your financial accounts. All of them. I’ll wait!
Got it? Now just sit there and look at them for a moment. The shame is probably starting to creep up. The “I should do, I should have, I haven’t….”
Blah, blah, blah. Let that voice talk for a moment. Now feel your body, not just the panicking monkey mind that’s beating itself up right now.
I tend to feel sick to my stomach and dizzy when I look at my accounts. What do you feel?
Okay. This is the reality.
“To truly be committed to a life of honesty, love and discipline, we must be willing to commit ourselves to reality.”
― John Bradshaw
Step #2: Commit To Stop Piling On
When you’re drowning in financial shame, adding up the sum total of your debt & sobbing over it every morning is no good. Seriously.
While looking at the amounts per step one, accept that you made the decisions that you thought best at the time.
Believe that you are doing the best that you can.
Now you commit to learning from this! You are starting the struggle to a better, financially solvent & savvy you.
The moment you choose to fight the good fight is the moment that everything changes.
You are now looking forward & not clinging to the weight of your past actions.
This is your new mantra. If you’re cheesy & overly dedicated like me, you can even say it out loud! ;)
Step #3: Forgiveness (Really)
Forgive yourself. Forgive the economy. Forgive the crippling cost of living. Forgive the sky-high cost of medical care (or premiums). Forgive the government.
This is probably the hardest step.
You have to forgive the stupid economy, the decades of stinginess & money trauma in the family and all of the people that screwed you over for the sake of a few more dollars.
No joke, it’s brutally hard when you were truly wronged.
But the purpose of forgiveness is to set you free.
Forgiveness is a huge act of trust. It relies on the confidence that life/God/the universe will eventually grace the person responsible for the dividends of their actions.
That isn’t airy-fairy, woo-woo nonsense. It’s science. Newton’s third law of motion states that — for every action, there is an equal & opposite reaction.
(Note: Seek legal justice and recompense when possible! This isn’t to let anyone go merrily along some immoral way. That is not the purpose of forgiveness.)
Forgiveness does not mean reconciliation. It only means that you choose to stop the constant mental IV drip of stressful poison into your life.
I like Merriam Webster’s definition for kids: the act of ending anger at.
Step #4: Choose 1 Action Step To Take. Just One.
Sorry for yelling. But this step is vitally important!
Yes, I’m a rebel and it held me back for years until I learned to channel it properly. Be a rebel in the right direction. Don’t waste any more of your precious, finite life!
Will you buy a book? Choose one carefully and use every bit of advice until you are done. Don’t overwhelm yourself with options.
Will you put one money mindset article into practice this week? Consider writing down a three-step action plan on a notecard and putting it on your nightstand or in your car.
Will you start a no-cost side hustle to build your skills & presence online while earning a bit of money? Create a 20-minute daily schedule to grow this! Make it easy, unintimidating and less work than you “totally could” do. Make it super, super easy. Baby steps, darling.
Whatever step you choose, it’s important to either completed or conclude that it no longer works for you.
Eliminate the frantic wheel-spinning of too many options.
Step #5: Commit To Talking about Money!
Start talking about money in a positive way to rewire your brain. Even it’s just to yourself. Or on your blog. I won’t tell!
You can start with the comment section below! ;)
I remember when I turned 14 my dad started openly talking about money more, and he started making more. A LOT MORE!
~ Lewis Howes
(I talk to my dog. She’s a great listener and even manages to look interested!)
Thank you so much for reading! I have always thought that there is no value in the struggle until you are sitting on top of a mountain, ripe with wisdom & success to pontificate on those in your current situation.
Honestly, that sounds more than a bit too self-righteous for the person I am working to become. So here is the sharing of the journey!
What step did you decide to take?!