I just got back from Bangkok. It’s not a very walkable city. Lack of zoning for many years created massive urban sprawl; not to mention its metro area is home to nearly 15 million people. There are metros and motos that make navigating easy but I enjoy walking a city and so I covered around 35km on foot in the two full days I was in Bangkok.

And I have to say, I was a little disappointed. For being the capital city of a country that just underwent a military takeover, I expected a lot more unrest. Is that selfish of me? I wanted to see the country in turmoil because I thought that would be exciting.

Instead of witnessing riots and military crackdowns, I spent my time drinking lattes and eating hipster brunches. I found an Aussie-run place called Chef Bar that is now one of my favorite restaurants in the world. It’s a tiny place with only 12 seats. The chef, Roland, is a real bro who even makes the ketchup from scratch. I went there twice.

There are tourist attractions in Bangkok like the Grand Palace and some Wat or something but they cost money so I just looked at them from outside of the walls.

Bangkok is known for its red-light districts. I saw a few of them. I walked down one street in particular where businesses showcased their teams of prostitutes. They sat in foldable chairs, lined up like basketball players waiting to get put in the game.

My stomach was twisted into knots as I walked down these streets. I made eye contact with some of the girls as I passed by, which I’m sure was interpreted as me shopping around. This thought hurt me.

Anyways, it was nice being in a modern city. My short time in Phnom Penh has already normalized frequent power outages and a general lack of rules. Bangkok conversely has an unreasonable number of high end shopping malls, many in which I accidentally stumbled into and wound up buying ice cream.

But I am now back in Phnom Penh, which surprisingly feels like home. I had trouble appreciating this place for the first couple of weeks I was here. I thought I would happier if I was in any other city, but now I really do like the confusing conversations I have with my Khmer neighbors, I like coming up with fun ways to turn down tuk tuk drivers’ solicitations, and I just like being here. I am happy here.

I realized earlier, as I sat on my balcony watching the daily rain, that there is beauty to be found everywhere you go in the world; that you can be happy anywhere. The more you strip yourself of expectations, nationalism and pride, the easier it is to be somewhere new and the easier it is to love the people around you.

My internship here hasn’t been particularly fulfilling, but I am grateful that it brought me to Phnom Penh. I always thought, anyways, that the main purpose of me accepting this fellowship was to find out if I would be okay living and working overseas.

I would be okay with it.