You’ve Been Trained to Hate Yourself

Society trained me to value my intellect, ignore my soul, and judge myself as unworthy.

School trained me to compare myself to others and focus on my weaknesses. There was always something that I wasn’t naturally good at. Yep, gifted and talented but remedial PE. I started believing that I was somehow lacking and that I needed to fix myself. I suspected that everyone else was doing great but that I wasn’t OK. This became my shameful secret.

This training of generations has led to an epidemic of anxiety, depression, hostility, fear, and loneliness. If you feel somehow lacking or broken, I invite you to release your Self (yes big S Self) from this social conditioning.

Everything that you need to live a life of grace, ease, abundance, peace, joy and love is trapped inside of you waiting for you to re-connect with and free your Self.


Drowning: We feel like we are drowning in a sea of fear, anxiety, anger, and confusion.

We are held captive by our thoughts. And 70% of them are negative…

I was told that I am just a thinking machine and that my intellect is the most valuable part of me. I was trained to believe that I am my intellect and to believe all of my thoughts. My self worth became intricately connected to grades, ranking, titles, and achievement. My thoughts determined my reality. I was captive to them.

Now I know that I cannot control my thoughts and they don’t need to control me. I watch them come and go. Free will is my ability to choose which thoughts I give life to. Free will is the greatest gift.


Ground your Self in the present moment. Don’t give life to the endless stream of worries about the future or regrets from the past.

You can only be where your feet are. The present is the only thing that exists.

When you disconnect from the endless stream of thinking and become fully aware of your present surroundings, you realize that all is well.

There are lots of ways to get present, be mindful, and be where your feet are including: meditation, walks in nature, music, laughter, breathing.


Relax into your heart space. Under your thinking, beliefs, and assumptions… you are PURE LOVE.

Our true essence is LOVE. Not romantic love, but unconditional love of all that is.

I was told to ignore or mistrust emotions — they are irrational. I struggled to make sense of the ongoing battle between my head and my heart. To make decisions, I’d make a logical pros and cons list. I’d get stuck.

To begin to love our Self again, we must expand our concept of Self. Anita Moorjani has said, that when she crossed over to the other side during her near death experience, she saw that the part of us that resides in our bodies is only 20% of us. She urges us to connect with and love the other 80% of us that we cannot see.

I now understand that I am love. I don’t need to look outside of myself for something that I already am. I can go into the world needing nothing, ready to connect through love.

To experience love as your true essence, it can be as simple as breathing into your heart space and feeling the warmth and love that is there.


Your body has natural intelligence in every cell. Relax into your body. Connect with the energy and intelligence behind all life.

Our body has natural intelligence and is trying to communicate with us every second.

I was trained to see my body as just a vehicle for my brain. 13+ years being forced to sit still and use your intellect for rote memorization has disconnected you from a body that wanted to be outside, run, play, move.

Medical professionals apply band-aids to any symptoms of dis-ease that pop up rather than intuiting the underlying cause and viewing your Self as a whole system.

I now understand that my body is continually sending me messages to let me know if I am on the best path for my highest good. Am I really following my true calling? Am I listening to the whispers of my soul? Am I loving my Self?

Begin to move mindfully again. Do a body scan daily. Yoga, Tai Chi, Qi Gong, Dance, or other somatic practices can re-connect you with the intelligence of your body.


Trust your intuition/divine wisdom/inner knowing. You are always guided moment by moment to action that serves your highest Self.

Our intuition/divine wisdom is a quiet whisper that we can hear when we take time to be quiet.

You were born with this innate intelligence until it was schooled out of you.

I know what my intuition feels like in my body. YES is light, expansive, and full of energy. NO is heavy and I energetically shrink. I now trust my intuition.

I also ask myself, “Will doing ___________ grow my soul?”


Connect with nature in an intentional way. Experience your Self connected to the Oneness of life. Reject all thoughts and fears that you are separate, alone, or unsupported.

In nature, we see the abundance, perfection, and oneness of all life.

I was trained to see nature as something to be tamed and conquered.

The major problems in the world are the result of the difference between how nature works and the way people think” ― Gregory Bateson

Nature beckons to you to come and experience your connection to life. The gently breeze, warm sun, cool rain, icy winds, call of the birds, buzzing of insects, kisses from your dog are all invitations to join in the majesty and beauty of this earth.

Invest your precious time in nature. Just be with nature.


I invite you to create a set of morning practices to do when you wake up. I’ll share my favorites here:

  1. Ground Your Self. Take 3 minutes to connect with your body. Just breathe and feel your body. Notice where you are holding any tension and breathe into that space, just noticing. Lovingly accept it. Don’t force it to relax.
  2. Feel your Self as Love. Breathe into your heart center for 3 minutes and affirm that you are pure love. Use words, colors, or images to guide you. You don’t need to love your Self because you ARE LOVE.
  3. Ask your Self, “Who do I need to be today? What do I need to do?” and wait for the answers and impulses to show up now and as you go through your day. Set the intention that you will be guided by your Soul.
  4. Set aside time to just be in nature. Marvel at the beauty and abundance all around you. Be a child again and allow yourself to be in awe as if you are seeing it for the very first time.
  5. Trust your intuition. When faced with a decision, use your divine Yes and No.

Above all else… Be fearlessly your Self, Demand Joy, Be Grateful.