Caged Tiger

What Anger Management taught me when the woman I loved, stopped loving me.

Six years we were together. Six years, four of which we lived together. I still love her, I love her as I write this. However, she came home and told me she no longer loved me a week before. She added that the last few years, she was not in love but acted that way to make me happy.

All this was told to me, as I was saving up and planning to buy her a ring to propose. She has told me this before, but we fought, missed each other than worked it out. We had not fought in a while, I was working a lot and one day she told me she wasn’t happy.

I know I may have pushed her away, coming home over worked and not had been affectionate as I should have been. But, she was still a pleasure to come home to. “I am sorry if I did not show you this my love.” I said that to her, when she pointed it out to me, with full the intention of changing my ways.

Too late, she hasn’t loved me in years she tells me. I am crushed. When we got together, I was a drunk and a rage-a-holic. Keeping her in my life is what sparked me to seek help, I did and it works. Even when I did angry at not understanding why she stopped loving me, I still loved her.

As I packed my things and prepared to leave, I cried worrying about her doing groceries alone, cooking alone ( we did that together often). I know she will find someone else, and I hope he treats her good. Sadness, and depression are trying to consume me, but I know I have to focus on letting her go so she can be happy. It makes me angry, but I love her. You do for those you love, even if their happiness means they don’t want you.

I learned to control my anger, and not go to a bottle to drown in. Now, those same techniques I am using to control the sadness and despair that comes with leaving someone that does not love you anymore. Focus on goals, do not be defeated by things you cannot change. Accept them and move forward. That is what I learned in anger management, but it is also useful for every emotion that tries to overtake you.

I know I have to learn to stop loving her, I know I have to stay focused on my goals and keep things moving. When someone heard what was happening, and how I tried to change her mind they said to me, “you should never beg anyone to love you.”

And you shouldn’t, it will make you angry, depressed, and embarrassed. But, if you do, please read everything I wrote and take what I learned to help you make the smart choice and keep the bad emotions from consuming you.