The Power in Ditching Social Acceptance
Last night, while in a slightly drunken haze, I made a huge promise to myself: to stop giving damn what other people think about me, and be the #carefreeblackgirl that I am.
As a recovering people-pleaser who smiles often and “just wants to get along with everyone”, I find it difficult to assert myself when confronted with negative or cold behavior.
Instead of letting comments roll off my back, I beat myself up over other peoples’ actions. I reassess every word I’ve ever uttered and every step I’ve ever made. And I yearn to prove that “I’m not so bad after all”.
But I’m done with that.
I know who I am. And I know that I’m a wondrous in all that I am.
Taking a step back from outside negativity and becoming more and more unapologetic won’t be an easy process. But it’s just not my job to negotiate with or entertain hurt and angry people.
We. Can’t. Change. Them.
We can only change how we react to them.
So no matter how friendly and sociable I feel that I am, I just can’t be friends with everyone — and that’s okay.
Although changing my people-pleasing ways is a daily endeavor, I’ve already found mountains of inner peace, great vibes, and most importantly, this long overdue freedom that I — and quite frankly all of us — deserve to possess in our own life.
Long story short: I feel good, dude.
And I hope that if you also struggle with being a people-pleaser, that one day you can look in the mirror and begin to feel the same way.
P.S. not a people-pleaser but a people-hurter? Check out my blog on The Power of Apologizing here.
P.P.S. trying to find depth in your life outside of social acceptance? Check out my Open Letter to Confused Milennials here.
Instagram: @ careyjohnna.
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Carey is a senior at the University of Oklahoma studying entrepreneurship with a minor in african american studies and social justice. She is a founder, writer, and photographer. She believes that we are in the Matrix. Check out her personal site here.