day one.

this feels familiar.

i May as well.

after all, i have some spare time tonight. only because i made it so.

i check my phone mindlessly while i’m waiting for the page to load.

i respond to a message while i’m listening to the opening two minutes.

i smile

because i’m pretty sure i’ve fucked up already.

the irony hits me as subtly as a club to the back of the head.

okay focus.

i adjust my doona cover.

i settle in.

this feels familiar.

it’s my third time ‘round. i doubt i’ll learn much new this year, she thinks.

wait — am i supposed to think? i forget how to do this.

the irony, she’s back

and this time she’s not real subtle.

like a club to the back of the head.

the words: ‘what’s useless ruminations and what’s constructive anguish’

ring

in

my

ears.

i wonder if i, too, have brought ambition to the cushion. or in this case, to the bed.

time to become a conoisseur of my inner neuroses

because there’s always something to learn, dear.

hello ego.

welcome to the party!

this is my reflection from day one of my Mindful in May one month meditation challenge, during which I intend to build the resources and tools I need to bring greater ease into my everyday life.

while I have the privilege of learning from some of the world’s best meditation teachers, there are people who don’t have access to clean, safe drinking water. this is a travesty. help me raise $200 to bring clean, safe drinking water to four people affected by the global water crisis for life by donating here: https://www.mycause.com.au/page/150149/mindfull-to-mindful